I love Charles H. S

"Strong in faith" Romans 4:20

from Charles H. Spurgeon in Daily Readings

"Christian, take good care of thy faith; for recollect faith is the only way whereby thou canst obtain blessings. If we want blessings from God, nothing can fetch them down but faith. Prayer cannot draw down answers from God's throne except it be the earnest prayer of the man who believes. Faith is the angelic messenger between the soul and the Lord Jesus in glory. Let tat angel be withdrawn, we can neither send up prayer nor receive the answers. Faith is the telegraphic wire which links earth and heaven - on which God's messages of love fly so fast, that before we call He answers, and while we are yet speaking He hears us. But if that telegraphic wire of faith be snapped, how can we receive the promise?

Am I in trouble? - I can obtain help for trouble by faith.

Am I beaten about by the enemy? - my soul on her dear Refuge leans by faith. But take faith away- in vain I call to God.

There is no road betwixt my soul and heaven. In the deepest wintertime faith is a road on which the horses of prayer may travel - ay, and all the better for the biting frost; but blockade the road, and how can we communicate with the Great King?

Faith links me with divinity. Faith clothes me with the power of God. Faith engages every attribute of God in my defence. It helps me to defy the hosts of hell. It makes me march triumphant over the necks of my enemies. But without faith how can I receive anything of the Lord?

Let not him that wavereth - who is like the wave of the Sea - expect that he will receive anything of God? O, then, Christian, watch well thy faith; for with it thou canst win all things, however poor thou art, but without it thou canst obtain nothing. 'If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.' "

Daddy Day

"Happy is the soul that has something to look backward to with pride, and something to look forward to with hope." -Oliver G. Wilson

I love how God uses even the smallest interactions with people to speak huge volumes of His love. As I was walking out of one of my favorite downtown restaurants a few weeks ago the owner popped up and asked me how I was doing. I returned the question and he practically started jumping up and down with excitement. He exclaimed, “I am having a baby, I am having a son. Oh my goodness have I told you yet? Well, you know what I mean my wife is having the baby... I am going to be a Father.” He barely breathed as he went on and on. “I can't wait to teach him how to play baseball and to throw a football and to fly a kite and ride a bike.”

I interjected here and was like, “Wow you have a lot of big plans already.”

Still smiling he explained, “I didn't have a father so I want to be the best dad ever and do everything I wished my dad had done.” He didn't even give me time to respond and went back to sharing all his plans for what he wanted to do as a daddy as he ushered me out the front door.

I tossed a big “Congratulations”over my shoulder as I exited. The whole interchange was a few short minutes but his words touched me and meant so much. It was like he just popped out his heart and showed it to me and popped it back in, all with a wide smile on his face. There was no pain in his expression as he revealed his motivation (not having a Dad) for why he planned to be the best dad ever. And there must have been past pain concerning this loss yet because of this lack it inspired idyllic ideas of his bright future in fatherhood.

I love observing my own Dad enjoying being an incredible grandfather. The other day he and my mom dashed over to my pool to see their granddaughter's first fun filled pool experience. While we were all smiling away at my little water-baby niece's delight, my dad looked at me and said “It is so great getting to enjoy all these kinds of things, now, as a grandfather.” My father gets up early every Saturday to attend every single one of his ten year old granddaughter's soccer games. He painstakingly videos every one.

As an adult, do I still want my daddy to watch me when I try to do something...do I still want his approval and to make him proud? Yes, I do. And maybe that is something I will never grow out of. It reminds me that my Heavenly Father is always watching. He came to all my track meets. He was there the first time I became a little water baby. And I am still working to make Him proud too and I NEVER want to grow out of that.

I love my Dad.

I respect my Dad so much that I do care more than I would like to admit about his opinion and approval. I remember crying watching some TV show when the Dad told the son he was proud of him. It touched the desire in my heart to hear my own dad say the same thing. Two days later I went out to dinner with my parents and my dad very seriously said over dessert the exact words I had been crying about two days before. He told me he was proud of me.

I love my dad.

I love how smart he is and how when he reads this he will cringe and think “She should have said intelligent and her punctuation is all wrong.” I love how he has always loved my mom with unwavering devotion. I admire his honesty even when it hurts. I love that he goes through stages of passions over some particular health craze or exercise regime. I love how he is always learning and looking for new knowledge. I love: How he thinks Twitter is cool and mundane all at the same time. Thinks Kim Komando is the all knowing eye of Sauron. How he won't get that Lord of the Rings reference because the movie was made after 1980 and he wouldn't read that kind of book. How he only likes trends after they are totally out of style. For instance he would still be wearing the same stonewashed pair of jeans if my mother hadn't taken them away from him.

I especially love:

How he is the best grandfather I have ever laid eyes on. How he shares his knowledge and wisdom with everyone and has never dumbed it down for a child and as a result all his grandchildren are brilliant. How I think he is a great father and I know he is there for me.

The majority of the same can be said as to why I love my Heavenly Father so much. Obviously He probably isn't wearing stonewashed jeans and I am not sure what He might think of Twitter but I do know that He is always there for me. The Lord has always been dead center in the middle of my picture regardless of whether or not I choose to see Him there. He always has been, He is the great “I AM”. How can you not love someone who has always been with you loving every minute, always has your back, tried to teach you big concepts and never dumbed it down.

“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38

Nothing can stand in the way of our Heavenly Father loving us. Nothing. Nothing we have done, nothing anyone else has done to us, no distance, dark power or even death can keep us from His love.

Lord keep our hearts pure in seeing You as You truly are, let not any earthly ideas mare Your greatness or tarnish Your image as our True Father. Thank you for our lives, thank you for our parentage both earthly and spiritually. Thank you for being our Abba Father. Thank you for always loving us and always being there for us.

Heaven helped me 6/18/09-6/26/09. I have been sitting on this one for a while. Sorry. Late for Father's day.
God bless you,
Love always A*

Anywhere Worship

“Enter the unquenchable worshipper. This world is full of fragile loves –Love that abandons, love that fades, love that divorces, love that is self-seeking. But the unquenchable worshipper is different. From a heart so amazed by God and His wonders burns a love that will not be extinguished. It survives any situation and lives through any circumstance. It will not allow itself to be quenched, for that would heap insult on the love it lives in response to.” (pg 18 The Unquenchable Worshipper)

I was invited to attend an outdoor concert downtown for a group called “Ben Folds”. I was a little nervous because I would be meeting some of my -very new at the time- boyfriend's friends. I chatted with everyone through the lame opening act and was completely comfortable with all of them right away. Of course his friends were great since he is so great and has great taste. (Hello, he is dating me obviously he has great taste.)

Since he and one of his friends operate the sound board at their church they were critical of the sound at the outdoor venue. And even to a laymen's ear it was really hard to hear and understand the vocals of the band. I was not very familiar with the group anyway so I wouldn't have been able to sing along even if I could catch the words.

What words I did catch were when they would throw out a “Jesus Christ or an Oh, my God”. When they would exclaim these, to be funny, my boyfriend would turn to me and smile and say, 'Oh this is a Christian song, awesome!”

The humorous thing to me is that I was already feeling like they were all Christian songs because I was standing there so happy in life and in love, that I couldn't help singing a song of worship in my own mental melody. I couldn't restrain myself from inwardly worshipping my Heavenly Father for all the joy, beauty and happiness I was experiencing just standing there in the balmy breeze. The band might have been using the Lord's name in vain, but not me, I was singing songs of adoration to His name. They were breaking commandments but I was keeping them.

I don't even need music to accompany the worship in my heart that overtakes me some time when I am just so, so, ecstatic. Little things can jump start my joyful trilling like thinking about one of my nieces or laughing at my funny coworkers. Sometimes merely because the sun is shinning I can't stop profusely thanking God for His creation.

“We can always find a reason to praise. Situations change for better and for worse, but God's worth never changes.” -Matt Redman

I like they way the author Dr. David Stoop wrote about worship:
“Our word worship comes out of the Old English word weorthscipe.This word meant that someone ascribed “worth” to the object of their “weorthscipe,” or worship. In our context as Christians, worship is the act, or actions, whereby we ascribe great worth to God. This is especially clear in the passage in Revelation where the twenty-four elders say,

“O Lord, you are worthy....” It is seen again in Revelation 5, where John hears “the singing of millions of angels surrounding the throne and the Living Beings and the Elders: “The Lamb is worthy” (loudly they sang it!)--the Lamb who was slain. He is worthy to receive the power, and the riches, and the wisdom, and the strength, and the honor, and the glory, and the blessing”” (verses 11-12)

In both of these examples, “worth” is being rendered, or offered, to God.
Our writer defined worship by saying that “in worship we engage ourselves with, dwell upon, and express greatness, beauty, and goodness of God through thought and the use of words, rituals, and symbols.” In worship we meet with God and God meets with us.” (pg 87 Experiencing God Together)

I don't see worship described as something we do on Sundays in church by singing, because that is not what it is really all about, even though I dearly love doing that. It is about acknowledging in your spirit the greatness of God and I think in return we feel His Spirit responding intimately back to us. It is as if we get a glimpse of His supreme glory in the little things in life and we can't help but compliment Him with everything that is in us ...and this is also worship.

I have a friend who majored in musical theater in college and I remember her dramatically saying that a good musical is when a character 's feelings are so strong that they can only be expressed adequately by bursting into song. A few days after hearing this I took my niece to see the musical movie “Enchanted” and it so aptly portrayed her definition. (If you have seen it, you would know what I mean.)

When I play with all my nieces I constantly find myself making up songs and singing to them. One was “Hadley-who is a dancing girl she likes to dance and she likes to twirl”, I have songs about changing diapers and brushing your teeth. You name it, I probably sang it. I think I sing because when I am with all my babies they make me so happy. And this is the same about my love for the Lord, He makes me so happy I can't help but sing and worship Him outwardly as well as inwardly.

“The heart of God loves a persevering worshipper who, though overwhelmed by many troubles, is overwhelmed even more by the beauty of God.” --Matt Redman

“Though the fig-tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior” (Habakkuk 3:17,18)

Paul and Silas caused their prison to crumble due to their praise. I want to praise and worship no matter what my situation, happy or sad, despondent or deliriously happy. I want to sing a song in my heart to glorify God's name all day long. Lord lead me to love you with the wholeness of my character so that I might know and experience the wholeness of Your character. Please help me to praise you no matter what my mood. Call me to attention, tell me to seek you when I need you most. Remind me You are near and always listening to my worship or lament. Let my lament turn into whole hearted worship and praise. Thank you Lord for all that You are, “Holy, Holy is the Lord God almighty who was and is and is to be.”

Heaven helped me 6/11/09
Love Always,
A*

Limited Vision

“To have faith where you cannot see; to be willing to work on in the dark; to be conscious of the fact that, so long as you strive for the best, there are better things on the way, this in itself is success.” --Katherine Logan

Saturday I had one of the best runs I have had in a long time. The simple thing I can attribute it to is not the pleasant weather, my better cardio condition or the time of day, the simple reason is that my sun-visor was on to low. I found the fact that it was so low over my eyes annoying and early on in the run I tried to adjust it a couple times but then gave up.

I am just getting back into regularly working out and instead of my usual hit- it-crazy- hard, right away , I have decided to take the smarter course of action and slowly ease back into getting in shape. I try and do a distance of 5-8 miles every time but walk and run intermittently. I have heard repeatedly that this is best for your aging body, plus I can tell it works different muscles. I do a hill route near my house that has a super steep hill that has the most extreme degree of slope I have ever experienced while not scaling cliff faces. You have to lean your body far forward while running up it and it is almost like having to “toe” up it as in rock climbing.

I have been telling myself that I need to run all the way down the hill and all the way up without walking at any point and then I will know I am making progress. It hadn't happened until yesterday. I was chugging away up the hill and lifted my head to see how much farther I had to go and I was almost at the top. I couldn't believe it. I had passed all the various mailboxes which are typically my visual goals that I bribe myself to go further by saying at least get to the blue mailbox and then you can walk. This time no bribes or visual goals were necessary I was already there.

I was so surprised and instantly started trying to mentally break down why and how this happened so effortlessly today. Yes, I do think that coolness of the day and the fact that I am getting in better condition played roles in why it was so much easier to reach the summit. But I think the big reason was actually due to the fact that my sun visor, down low, limited my range of vision.

I couldn't stare in the distance and worry about what was ahead. I couldn't focus on the bigness of the hill and how small it made me feel. I couldn't inwardly whine how I couldn't do it, because I couldn't even see what I would normally whine about. Instead all I could see was a few feet in front of me, the ground right before my feet and because that was all I could see that was all I had to worry about. I knew I could conquer those few feet so why stress about the other .33 miles of hilly journey up ahead. (I think the total distance of the hill is .69)

For me this is how I need to view my life. I need to focus and zero in on the few feet in front of me and not get bogged down with worry about the big hill ahead.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Mathew 6:34

I need to limit my own range of vision since so often the reason I get depressed is because I want God to shout down from heaven what I am supposed to be doing with my life. When I think about the big picture I feel like I am wasting minutes, hours, days and years not doing what God really desires for me to be doing with the gifts he has given me. If I instead focus on the here and now, and the day to day way to life my live for His glory, it is a lot easier to comprehend and apply.

Sometimes the grand scope of things is just to GRAND and instead a little Carpe Diem, live for the now is necessary to keep my sanity. So what can I do now, keep praying, keep trying to change my broken ways and live more like Jesus.

Lord please help us to see the big and the small picture. Focus our vision so that we are able to run after the things you want us to commit our lives to. Give us a heart and drive for the things you want us to pursue in our everyday lives and show us Your path before every step we take. Narrow our eye line so that We see you in all things. Thank You for your God given gifts and abilities and please help us to use them more for Your glory.

Heaven helped me 6/9/09
Love Always,
A*

Mom Imitation

"As we offer our small rejoicing For the love that surrounds our days, All the wonderful works of Thy goodness Shall open before our gaze; Through the gates of our narrow thanksgiving We shall enter Thy courts of praise." --Annie J. Flint

A couple of days ago I spent some time with two of my ten-year old friends. I often ask them what is the favorite part of our time together when I am taking them home. I want to get an idea of what they especially enjoyed and file it away mentally for future reference. Usually everybody has something different that is their favorite part and it typically involves laughing.

My favorite part this past time was when we all gave imitations of our mothers. It started because as Serena* was telling a story about her mom she was doing a great impersonation of her accent and dialect. It was a dead on duplication of her, which made it absolutely hilarious to me. I have always thought she was good at mimicking but I hadn't heard her do an impersonation. It so tickled me that I did my own rendition of my dear sainted mother.

When I tell a story and talk in the voice I use for my mother it is not an actual representation of how she talks or sounds - -- -really. It is probably, more accurately, how she sounds in my head. Serena's impersonation of her mother sounded just like her and since her mom is from Rwanda she has a very distinct vocabulary and accent. I guess it should be also mentioned that for the both of us our mothers were yelling/nagging in our pretend dialogs.

After I was finished I turned to the other girl and said, “Okay it's your turn you try to imitate your foster mom.” She shyly looked down. I said, “Well, if I know your mom she probably doesn't really get mad, so what is something she says often.”

She perked up at that and said, “Oh I know, I know, okay here goes," She tilted her head and in a very sweet voice said, “Maybe next time honey, maybe later.”

It was perfect, absolutely perfect. I am positive that she has to hear that all the time because that little girl is not afraid to ask for the moon. She always has a great idea of what she would like to do and unfortunately in the real world has to be told, "Maybe next time."

Haven't I heard somewhere that, "Imitation is the highest form of flattery".

I love my mother, thoroughly, completely and even when she is driving me crazy. She is in my top ten people I can’t live without list, because I don’t know what I would do without her in my life.

I am not a big fan of writing cards. I find it hard and painstakingly slow. Plus I have atrocious handwriting and pretty much always misspell something or leave out a word or goof in someway so that it is not attractive. I don’t mind writing here because, hello, it is all about me and I am the foremost expert on me.

Since I am the queen of procrastination and tend to put off anything I don’t want to do I think I gave my mom her birthday card last year super late. All it had in it was one sentence. I had thought and thought and thought about it, but it ended up I had a profound realization one morning and had decided to write just that in the card.

I had been praying about something the night before and when I woke up, lo and behold my prayer had been answered. My immediate instinct was to grab my phone and start dialing to tell my mom. I suddenly realized OOOOOHHHHH bad first instinct, pushed “end call” on my phone and dropped to my knees and started thanking God for hearing my prayer and answering it.
My mom called me back and asked why I hung up on her just as she answered the phone. I said, “So sorry I didn’t hear you answer and I realized that I needed to thank God first before I tell you my good news.”

I quickly told her and said I would call her back after I was done praying. After hanging up the phone I had my epiphany and this was all I wrote in the birthday card to my mom.

“You are my best friend.”

That says it all to me, shows my love, my respect, my desire to hang out with her and talk to her about everything. I love my mom. She was the first person I immediately thought of when I wanted to share something wonderful.

“Many favors which God gives us ravel out of want of hemming through our unthankfulness; for, though prayer purchases blessings, giving praise keeps the quiet possession of them.” ---Thomas Fuller

In keeping with that quote THANK YOU mom for everything you have done throughout my lifetime, for all the little and big things, for just being there and for having me and keeping me. For loving me and in a thousand little ways letting me know that I was loved. So Happy Mother’s day, all you mothers out there. No matter what you may be going through with your kids you never know what kind of relationship God might have planned for you in the future. Same to you kids as well, sometimes it is really hard to appreciate and understand all our mothers do for us. Because I certainly did not always feel this way concerning my mom, for a time it was quite the contrary, in my rebellious teen years. I remember counting myself lucky if I could get through a whole week avoiding talking to my mom. Now rarely a day goes by that I don’t talk to her via phone or email. I can only attribute this to all the mercy and forgiveness my Heavenly Father has poured down upon me because I have better relationships with Everyone, especially my mom.

Happy Mothers day, again. I love you Mom!
"May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice!" Proverbs 23:25

Thank you Jesus, for all the mother's out there. Please bless them heartily! Give them encouragement and strength to continue on giving and giving to their children and to others. Please remind them, Lord, that even when they don't feel appreciated on this earth you are storing up for them treasures in heaven for all their sacrifices and endless toil. Remind the rest of us Lord to thank our earthly parents for all they do for us as well.

Heaven helped me 5/10/09
God bless you,
Love always A
*Named changed for their protection

Dark Days

Since high school I have experienced periods of depression. I call them dark days. It is like someone sneaks up behind you, suddenly bags your head in burlap and tosses you in the trunk of a car and drives off. You are then stuck there, lying in the dark, cramped and uncomfortable, barely breathing, wondering where you are going and when are you ever going to get out.

Sometimes.

Or sometimes you buy the ticket yourself purchased with your sin, you purposefully walk up and punch the kidnapper in the face and say, “bag me baby, I want to cry in the dark forever”...sometimes.

What I mean by this is sometimes I just feel depressed out of no where, no cause, no reason and no easy solution. Other times I feel like I choose it. It starts with a string of bad choices and then the guilt and regret start dragging me down and I chose to wallow in my despair. Either way they are dark days full of isolation and general malaise. I don't want to talk to anyone, go anywhere or do anything and ironically all of these things would really help me feel better.

Why I am revealing this to you, well this past week I was depressed. What was especially annoying to me was I had this great epiphany the previous week realizing, WHEN YOU HURT YOURSELF YOU HURT EVERYONE WHO LOVES YOU. DON'T DELUDE YOURSELF INTO THINKING THAT WHAT YOU DO ONLY AFFECTS YOU!

For instance my depression hurts more than just me. It hurts my family when they see me that way. It hurts my friends when I don't call or want to spend time with them because I don't want to leave my hidey hole of gloom and doom. When I thought about this, it just made me more depressed realizing my sadness was seeping into all my loved ones when they saw my mournful mug. I generally look really, really rough when I am not doing well. Imagine the cartoon dog Droopey with an afro. My annoying habit of playing with my hair becomes incredibly amplified when I am down and usually results in hugeness of hair.

One of the thoughts especially plaguing my mind was that by admitting to my self that I was depressed I was admitting failure since I had chatted with the Lord about my issues with depression and had told myself that I was not allowed to be depressed any more. Admitting that I was depressed was therefore admitting defeat. And I feel like by accepting that I am depressed there must be something wrong with me, as in I must not be doing well in my relationship with the Lord if I am down.

When I read in 1 Samuel 16:14-15 “Now the Spirit of the LORD had departed from Saul, and an evil spirit from the Lord tormented him.”... “Saul's attendants said to him, "See, an evil spirit from God is tormenting you.” 16:23 “Whenever the spirit from God came upon Saul, David would take his harp and play. Then relief would come to Saul; he would feel better, and the evil spirit would leave him.” I instantly thought of my depression and when I brought up this passage to my mom the very first thing she said was Saul was depressed, it was a spirit of depression. ................WHAT, but it says it came from God???????

I am not a theologian, expert, scholar, or divinity know it all, so I am just throwing some things out there, please keep that in mind. If God had sent the spirit to Saul, I tried to see what might be a positive and or what good resulted from this. Because of the evil spirit, Saul searched for someone to play soothing music for him and David was suggested. Therefore this is the beginning of the long and difficult relationship between Saul and David. So I too started to look at the good that might come out of me being depressed.

There is a scripture passage where someone says something along the lines of, “My sins are always before me.” I get phrases stuck in my head and this one had been there for a couple of days, it might have been from Hosea 7:2 “Their sins engulf them; they are always before me.” I am not sure. The other day though in my head it changed into, “My desperation is always before me.” In complete and utter despair, my depression eventually gets to a point of desperation and I have to cry out that “I can't do it anymore, you have got to help me.” This is exactly what God wants from us all the time. He always wants us to acknowledge the reality of our own weaknesses and ask, desire and allow ourselves to really depend on Him. This is kind of one of those “easier said than done” concepts. Unlike in mortal love relationships, I think being so clingy and desperate is charming and attractive to God. It is right where He wants us.

This writing has been added to probably on three or four different occasions over the past 5 months. I go to it when I am depressed hoping to complete it. Each time though I have some realization or epiphany that brings me out of my Debbie downer days and then I never end it and send it. I think, also that I have not wanted to send this because it's personal and not something I am proud of. I once went up for prayer for it and when I told the person why I was up there they said, “What you, be depressed, but you are so happy all the time.” So maybe I don't want to dispel the image that people have of me being happy. The truth is you don't see me when I have the BIG D because I am hiding at home.

One of the scriptures that powerfully changed my perspective in some of my past dark days was when I read the following account about David and Goliath.“ Meanwhile, the Philistine, with his shield bearer in front of him, kept coming closer to David. He looked David over and saw that he was only a boy, ruddy and handsome, and he despised him. He said to David, "Am I a dog, that you come at me with sticks?" And the Philistine cursed David by his gods. "Come here," he said, "and I'll give your flesh to the birds of the air and the beasts of the field!"

David said to the Philistine, "You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the LORD will hand you over to me, and I'll strike you down and cut off your head. Today I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds of the air and the beasts of the earth, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD saves; for the battle is the LORD's, and he will give all of you into our hands." I Samuel 17:41-47

I think this is soooooo powerful. When I read this I was so hit that my depression is my own personal Goliath, and I know that if I “come against it in the name of the Lord Almighty, that I can strike it down and cut off it's head. I can stand over the carcass of my depression in triumph and kill it with strength that comes only from the Lord. But I have to believe, know and have the faith that this “battle is the Lord's and I need to put it into HIS hands and entrust it to Him.”

Lord we know that with you, nothing is impossible, there is no mood, feeling or frustration that can not be conquered with Your help. Please lead me quickly to a place of desperation where we see that we ALWAYS need to rely on You and Your strength. Remind us constantly that there is no Goliath that You can't kill, that there is nothing in my life that can't be overcome in victory. Shine Your light Jesus, in all our dark days and help us to share and shine that light for others as well.

Heaven Helped Me 1/5/09-5/7/09
God bless you!
A*

tweenbots

I thought this story has some pretty cool spiritual insights in that we all need help along our own personal journeys and that church members and leadership can help pick us up and get us going in the right direction. Click on the link to check out this cute short story.

http://www.tweenbots.com/

Where would we all be...really...without a little help from our friends?

Timing

Time
"What is it?
Time to do well,
Time to live better,
Give up that grudge,
Answer that letter,
Speak the kind word to sweeten a sorrow,
Do that kind deed you would leave 'till tomorow." --Anonymous:What time is it?


Timing, timing, timing, Life is all about timing. God's timing is always impeccable.
I finally have had to succumb to the realization that the reason I have felt so lousy this spring is due to allergies. I had to be forced to swallow this bitter pill of reality by the doctor as I was sitting on the examination table with a lighted scope down my throat. “Sorry” she said with a little empathy thrown in, “It is definitely allergies that are causing all your symptoms.”


So yes, now at the age of 32, I am facing the fact that it is everyday run of the mill allergies to one of my favorite seasons, spring, that is causing me so much discomfort. In keeping with my stubbornness, I decide that I don't want to pick up the allergy medication the doctor has prescribed and called into my pharmacy.


Probably a full month goes by of, on and off, agony, until the other day I had to put down my book and declare, “I can't take it anymore.” I grabbed my wallet and started walking over to the pharmacy which is very close to my condo complex. Unbelievably they still had my filled prescription ready and waiting for me. Feeling mildly defeated that after so many years I am finally admitting that I have allergies and need medication, I walk out the door and back home.


As I jog home I run past a little old man trying to walk across the parking lot with the help of a wheeled walker. It is an extremely windy day and he probably weighs 85 pounds and is about 85 years old. He is getting blown around and looks a little lost. I jog back to him and ask him if he would like some help.

"I have only just a minute,
Only sixty seconds in it,
Forced upon me----can't refuse it.
But it's up to me to use it.
I must suffer if I lose it.
Give account if I abuse it.
Just a tiny little minute,
But eternity is in it." ---Anonymous

What transpires next is much more humorous when told with his accent, speech and pantomime of how he walked. I don't think I can do it justice in writing. So I won't bother to try, I figured out from his few intelligible words that he was trying to get blood taken and clutched in his hand was the necessary paperwork. He had already been in one of the other various buildings and was now trekking around the parking lot following some one's bad directions as to where to go next. It took us quite a while to figure out where he was supposed to go and the various places and people we spoke with were rather rude to him and unhelpful in the different buildings we entered.


After I wished him a hearty, “God bless you” while patting him on his extremely bowed back, I left him at his desired destination. I wondered how on earth he had gotten there alone to begin with and would he have ever found the proper place without me? If I had not intervened he might still be blowing around in the parking lot in his little white shoes and baby blue pantsuit.


I thought, “Someone else surely would have helped him, right, Lord?” What if I had just run by him and not turned around and helped? Why were those other people so unfriendly and rude to him, didn't they realize that he was just asking for their help on where to go? And yeesh, why was it so hard to figure out even for me? There should have been some clear signage, I hate when there aren't obvious signs to help guide the way. But I guess that is life.


I was pondering all these things while walking home and I was suddenly struck with the idea that I was supposed to be there at just that time to help that man. I had been stubborn for years and years and had suffered for two months with my allergies so that on that exact day, at that exact time, I could be jogging by that sweet little man. I felt unbelievably blessed by God to be able to help that man. I felt like God had given me the honor of being of use to some random stranger and I had successfully completed my mission. It was all about the timing.


The next day another cool example of “God's timing”occurred. I have been practicing my own philosophy of telling some one whenever you think something nice about them, for so many years now that it is just second nature. It usually happens with a lot more finesse though than in this story.


I went in to Clover's Natural Foods and after picking up a few things I went to go check out. The girl had her head down as she started ringing in my things and she said, “How are you today?” She looked up at me as she said this and when I looked into her eyes I thought she was pretty and in a breathy, kinda surprised way I said, “Pretty.” I suddenly realized what I had just said and was completely embarrassed and bumbled around for a moment. In response to how was I doing, I had said pretty. Yikes!


Quickly recovering, I said, “I am sorry, I meant to say YOU are pretty. I try and tell people whenever I think something nice about them, and I usually don't just blurt it out like that.”


She said, “Wow, thank you so much for that, I really needed to hear that today. I went to an elementary school earlier and all the kids were telling me I look like a boy. Thank you so much.”


I guess it should be mentioned that she had a shaved head, which was probably why the kids were teasing her. As in the other story this is all about the timing. She needed to hear exactly that on that exact day. I think God puts us in the right place at the right time and it is up to us to do the right thing. These are both just small little things but I know that small little things can mean a lot to me when they are perfectly timed.


You are pretty, and obviously smart because you stuck through to the end of my email. I like you and probably love you and know that you are secretly brilliant in some area. Jesus loves you and wants to use you in some little way too, just ask Him and I am sure He will show you how you can be of use for something special today.


1 Peter 3:8-9 “Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.”

Lord please lead us all to be a blessing to one another, please equip us to be ready and willing to be used by You for Your purposes. Help us Lord to have our hearts so overflowing with Your love that we can't help but pour it out on others. Call us to give and receive more of Your blessings, help us to see situations in which you can use us and let us hear Your call with clarity. Continue to reveal Your ultimate timing in our lives...

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28


Heaven helped me 4/4/09
God bless you,
A*

First Flight

"It is never to late to be what you might have been." - George Eliot

The last time I was on a plane for probably the 50th time, I noticed seated in front of me a 7 yr old boy. Honestly, I probably instantly started wishing I was seated somewhere far from this potential noise machine/wiggle worm. I love kids dearly but screaming babies and unruly kids in tight, confined places, where escape is not an option, aren't my idea of the ideal flying conditions. I love to be disappointed if my expectations are negative and sure enough this kid surprised me by being a sweet reminder of my own youth.

Bored, I had already pulled out a book and my mom seemed to be asleep next to me and we hadn't even taxied to the runway yet. Finally the plane started rolling and as the engines started revving up gathering speed for take off, the little boy in front of me raised his arms straight up in the air. As if he was on a roller coaster, he was all a jitter with nervous excitement and anticipation. He kept his arms reaching skyward as we ascended skyward. I think I even heard a little "wooo whooo" when the tires left the pavement and we started gaining altitude. I couldn't help but smile and be envious of the joy and thrill he found in his first time flying.

I have flown all over the world and find flying tedious and annoying. I hate having zero control over everything: from who you sit by, to what you are breathing, to what you are supposed to be listening to and or are trying to avoid hearing.

This child convicted me and reminded me that I was on a miracle of modern travel. I was on a mammoth, metal marvel soaring through the clouds and it was amazing. When had I lost the magic of it all? Where exactly did the thrill go since apparently for me “the thrill is gone”? In the hustle bustle, taking my shoes off shuffle, I had somewhere misplaced the wonder of riding the skies in a glorified, flying bus.

“It is right to be contented with what we have, but never with what we are.” -Sir James Mackintosh

I don't want to grow up if after time everything loses its luster. Will there come a day when ice cream doesn't seem as sweet and beloved cheese is not so savory? I won't let it, I will fight the doldrums of hum-drum adulthood. I will remember that little boy and the way he peeped between the seats to look at me and then shyly hid, only to look again moments later. Even I seemed interesting and intriguing to him. To his little 7 yr old self, life was fresh and new, shiny as new shoes, and what I took for granted, he saw with wide eyed wonder. All I could see were the scuffs on my bedraggled shoes. I needed him to shine them right up again by reminding me that I am still young inside and can find that freshness and beauty everywhere just as easily. I love traveling, love it! I needed to see what a blessing it is just to be on a plane going anywhere, sitting next to whoever, and listening to whatever.

I need to give a huge thank you to the big Guy upstairs for everything...everything! Life is amazing, that I am happy and a Christian is a miracle. You that are also lovers of Christ are miracles too and those that aren't yet, I pray that you will be soon.

Lord help us to stop taking for granted all the beauty and majesty in each other and in your creation everywhere. Let our focus cease to be on the negative things that bother us and instead extend our arms skyward to give you the thanks, praise and worship You alone deserve. Help us to savor every moment and experience and appreciate all that this life has to offer. Remind us always that there is so much more to come with You and that we are always young inside and we can always grow more with You.


1 Chronicles 20:10-13
10 David praised the LORD in the presence of the whole assembly, saying,
"Praise be to you, O LORD,
God of our father Israel,
from everlasting to everlasting.
11 Yours, O LORD, is the greatness and the power
and the glory and the majesty and the splendor,
for everything in heaven and earth is yours.
Yours, O LORD, is the kingdom;
you are exalted as head over all.
12 Wealth and honor come from you;
you are the ruler of all things.
In your hands are strength and power
to exalt and give strength to all.
13 Now, our God, we give you thanks,
and praise your glorious name.



Heaven helped me 3/16/09
God bless you,
Love Always, A*

Glittering Green Truck

It was a lovely sunshiny day as I was driving down the road and suddenly there appeared next to me the most unbelievable, glittery, green little truck. This was no ordinary paint job, it looked as if it was from another world. It was full on rainbow hologram with a 3-D multi-colored effect. Glistening rainbows kept jumping out as you ran your eyes up and down the little trucks exterior. I briefly wondered if it was a mirage or if I was getting “punked” and pranked by munchkins. It seemed straight out of “The Wizard of Oz.”


While driving next to it, I was so exhilarated and thrilled simply staring, that I decided I didn't want to peep in the driver's window and have the magic disappear. What if it was some angry ole' curmudgeon smoking a cigarette glaring at me while hunched over the steering wheel. I drove alongside it for a nice long stretch of road and just smiled and smiled. I resisted the urge to roll down my window and yell out, “I love your sparkle.”

I have a philosophy that you should always tell someone when you think something nice about them, but I didn't want to cause an accident. If I were a dog I would have had my head out the window and barked and barked away at the truck. Sometimes I am jealous of dogs with the wind in their face because they look like they are enjoying life in those moments. And because of the little truck I was so enjoying life in that moment.


I realized though that the person in the car really wouldn't get to see and enjoy all of the rainbows and sparkle in the same way I saw it. They might be able to see a little bit, glacncing at its reflection in the driver's side mirror but they could never get the full and dazzling big picture the way I did on that sunshiny day.


This truck reminds me of many people I know. I was just so happy looking at the special green finish, it made my day. The car didn't know that and had no idea the effect it had on me. I didn't even interact with it but just looking at it made me so happy.

To know even one life has breathed easier because you lived... is to have succeeded!
--Emerson

On a Sunday morning before church I was busy setting out coffee and donuts and looked up and saw through the glass Sarah* making her way to the door. It was terrifically windy out and she was carrying something heavy in both hands. The wind was whipping her hair all around and it was all she could do to see. Knowing that she always has perfect hair, perfectly put in place, I couldn't imagine she was happy about just fixing it for church, only to watch it blown to pieces in a couple of steps. She always has a peaceful, pleasant expression and it was the first time I have ever seen her looking a little harried and frazzled, figuratively and literally. It was only a momentary flash across her face, probably because she realized she couldn't open the door. Instantly someone else trotted up to help her. And her face went right back to it's normal warm smile.


When I saw her I was so struck with my love for her, it was such an unexplainable rush all at once that I can only attribute it to something more than just me. I think I felt a smidgen of God's gigantic love for her. I had to repress the urge to just run over and tell her how much I loved her, and help her with what she was carrying.


She had no idea how happy and how much love I felt for her in those few moments. There was no interaction... no words shared but just seeing her own unique sparkle made me feel so much. I am so blessed that there are many people like her in my life that just seeing them makes me happy. They don't even know the effect they have on me. Since they are in the driver's seat they can't see how their glittering paint and the special rainbows that reflect off of them, can touch people. Don't forget that you can be and probably are one of those people.


Thank you Lord for all the wonderful people I get to drive alongside in this life that make me smile and smile. Thank you for each and everyone of them that you have put on the road with me. Keep them shinning for You Lord and for your glory. Let them feel and know more than a smidgen of Your gigantic love. Help us to take care of our cars and keep them clean on the inside so that they can glitter on the outside for You. Let us all experience and be able to give more of Your love to everyone. Please keep us accident free and safe on the roads together Lord. Thank you for hearing our prayer.


Heaven helped me 3/7/09

God bless you,A*


P.S. I later chased Sarah* down that day and hugged her and told her how much I loved her.


*Named changed for her protection

I Was ___.

I was given the sentence = I was _____ But Jesus came and Now_____.

My church was making a video to show in a Sunday service and was asking various people to participate in it by completing this sentence and saying it on camera.

I was in darkness But Jesus came and Now I am surrounded by His light.
I was damaged goods But Jesus came and Now I am repairing everyday.
I was hurt But Jesus came and Now I am healing.
I was living two different lives But Jesus came and Now I am living only one life for Him.
I was a hot mess But Jesus came and Now I am a happy mess.
I was broken But Jesus came and Now I am mending.
I was hurting myself But Jesus came and Now I am helping myself.

Me being my wordy over zealous self, decided to print out the sentence on multiple pieces of paper, fill in the blanks and then pick out the best one.

I was dying inside But Jesus came and Now I am learning to live.
I was talking too much about myself But Jesus came and Now I won't shut up about Him.
I was in so many pieces But Jesus came and Now I am pulling it all together.
I was so filthy But Jesus came and Now I am so clean.
I was full of chaos But Jesus came and Now I am learning to be calm.
I was a wreck But Jesus came and Now I am redeemed.
I was so stupid But Jesus came and Now I am making smarter choices everyday.
I was a flirt But Jesus came and Now I only have eyes for Jesus.
I was always wanting something But Jesus came and Now I only want more of Him.
I was walking disaster But Jesus came and Now I see the beauty in this natural disaster.

I was having a hard time figuring out which one really summed me up best and so I think I narrowed it down to 27 different ones. One sentence could never sum up what has happened in my life. I was sad, now I am happy, just didn't cut it for a description of what has profoundly and forever changed me as a person. Everything in my life, perception, behavior, and my thoughts have radically changed since I started really living with God as my center; It is the only way for me with my love for the Lord being my main motivator for all things.

I was wasting my life But Jesus came and Now I am giving my life to Him.
I was deluded But Jesus came and Now I see reality.
I was lying to myself But Jesus came and Now I see and want only the truth.
I was so wrong But Jesus came and Now I know what is right.
I was wandering But Jesus came and Now I am wandering in the right direction.
I was without a dream But Jesus came and Now my dream is for more of Him in my life.
I was poor in every respect But Jesus came and Now I am rich in blessings.
I was empty But Jesus came and Now I am full.
I was thirsty But Jesus came and Now I am thirstier for more of Him, His love, goodness, power, joy, grace, mercy and forgiveness.

I decided I would grab one of the pieces of paper out of my purse read 3-4 on camera and let the guy filming decide which was best. Great plan right? Guess which one the camera man choose......It is one of the ones written above.

When I arrived I immediately confessed that I had written a bunch and couldn't decide and would let it be up to him. He stressed that I needed to not read them but just say them from memory in the camera. I grabbed a sheet and said I think three different ones. On the fourth one he said, "Great, got it the last one is the perfect." No, no, NO, NO, NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Not that one any one but that one....here let me say a few more, please,please, please don't use that one.

He said, “Nope, sorry that is the one I am using.” But I...I....I really couldn't come up with a good argument since I had said he could choose. Plus I was late for a Friday night class so I tried to let it go mentally. I continued to try for the next two hours of class to let it go, quite unsuccessfully. One of the guest speakers after class asked me how the video went and I instantly produced all of my papers threw them down and said, “Look, guess which one he choose”. I pointed it out and He laughed and laughed. Then said, “Oh I am sure he is just teasing you these other ones are better, he probably will NOT use THAT one.”

I kept contemplating stopping back in there and begging the video-grapher to PLEASE use a different take. I realized though that it was my worst enemy Pride rearing its ugly head and that is why I didn't want that clip to be in the video. After all I had written it down and it is very true about myself -very true, so I should not be so embarrassed about it.

The Sunday church service in which it played, I was teaching the kids in Sunday school and have to this day never laid eyes on the video. Old enemy big P of course pecks at me wanting to see myself in all my embarrassing glory.

After the service was over and all the kids had left the classroom I walked out into the sanctuary to socialize and the first person I saw said, “I liked what you said on the video.” I gulped and ever so casually said, “Oh, what did I say, I haven't seen the finished product?”

She said, “Oh, it was cute you cocked your head to the side and said, 'I was a FLIRT but JESUS came and Now I only have eyes for Him.'” I weakly said, “Uh, did it at least get a laugh?” She said, “No, nobody laughed.” Yeesh, I was thinking to myself I didn't even get a lousy laugh, how completely and utterly embarrassing.

She went on to say, “I thought it was good because I am sure there are some flirts in here that might have felt a little prick of conviction.”

That warmed me up and I smiled and said, “Thanks, I think I really needed to hear that.”
It is absolutely astounding to me how a little compliment when it is essentially needed can change my whole perspective.

“A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Proverbs 25:11

I really was a HUGE FLIRT but now Jesus came and I really do only have eyes for Him. It is pretty amazing because it is like a huge facet of my personality is now dormant. I will write more about that later I suppose. Also I could fill pages and pages with “but now JESUS” came because there is so much of my life that has been transformed that I could go on endlessly. Seriously, just ask.

Lord, help the inappropriate flirts, help anyone that is a --before just begging to become an –after. Please continue to work in me and change me, change me, change me to be more like You. Help me to kick ugly Pride in the pants and let my worries of what others may think plague me no more. Please Lord lead more people to be able to write their own sentence of

–I WAS ____BUT JESUS CAME AND NOW _____.

Heaven helped me 2/17/09
God bless you,
A*

Reality

What is reality really? Everyone shapes and perceives reality within their own framework, understanding, and unique viewpoint. But real, true reality is not so manipulated, it is the Ultimate- it is WHAT IS. It is undeniable, undisputed and the only truth. But how often do we really see it, understand it or see the truth in it?


Do you hear a dog whistle, can you see a sound wave or infrared light. What if you could see a bad smell...who and what might we avoid. (I would never enter the employee bathroom if that were the case.) Are you feeling the earth spinning? Do you have the sudden urge to fly south for the winter? Do you feel a magnetic attraction to certain earth elements?


The thing is we are incapable of seeing or perceiving so many things that are happening around us right now. This instant can you see the oxygen you are breathing that is so essential to all life on this planet...can you feel your own basic, chemical elements? I am really feeling my carbon today, and I think my phosphorus is a little low, I don't even want to know about my sulfur content right now.


If you stared and stared could you ever see the scope of the celestial samba streaking all across space. Are you hearing all the meteors burning by or can you only wish upon their brief light. It is all happening right now around you. The moon is pulling ocean waves close and thrusting them away. Do you feel that pull? Just because you are not seeing it or feeling it does not mean it isn't true. Just because you can not understand it does not mean it isn't a fact, an indisputable truth.


I love the bigness, the vastness, the incomprehensibleness of our world. I mean look again at that word it is pretty big and hard to understand...I am having a hard time comprehending what all I can't comprehend.


God revealed himself to Moses at the burning bush and said, "I AM WHO I AM". God didn't give his pedigree or an explanation of Himself, He didn't have to because He is God. I don't think Moses doubted Him or His existence for a minute. The Hebrew name for God that comes from Moses encounter is Yahweh (YHWH) from the verb "to be" or "to exist". God shows how He is independent of our revelation and acknowledgment.


Isn't the younger generations perpetual whine to the older, "you will never understand me." Yahweh never whines about this. He knows we will never fully understand Him for it is beyond our capacity.


Moses didn't need a five page essay on who and what God is and does, all God had to say is "I AM WHO I AM". What do we all need to believe? What are you waiting for...do you need that ray of sunshine from heaven to burn a bush... I don't know, maybe you do. I am so thankful that I already know it in every cell of my oxygen, carbon, and sulfur body. I know and believe and don't need to see, hear or feel anything more to know He exists. But in my reality I have already seen, heard and felt so much of His beauty, love and greatness that I know HE IS. He is and always will be unto infinity and I can't even understand infinity.


Somebody else said it all much better so I will just let him say it:


"We have been saying that the Christian does not stand on the ground of condemnation, that he is not under the law, that he has been taken out of the old creation, and freed from the Satanic realm of darkness and oppression. As we turn to the Word of God we find that is categorically declared that the Christian is before the Father in the Risen Christ enjoying the same favor as the Son whose throne he shares, for he has been made to sit together with his Savior in heavenly places. This and no other is the immeasurably exalted position of the Christian.


But this is a faith position. It is received by faith and held by faith. Faith does not make it real. It is real whether the Christian believes it or not. It is real because God who cannot lie declares it to be so. Whether the Christan accepts it or not is in a sense beside the point. His attitude does not affect reality. However, to enter into the enjoyment of this glorious position he must believe what God says about it. Faith, as we read in Hebrews 2:1, is the substance of things hoped for." Reigning with Christ by F.J. Huegel

I hope you see the real reality of God and His son Jesus and what we as Christians are really meant for. I hope you can sense, feel and hear all that our Heavenly Creator wants to reveal to you. Lord, please, I beg you to show yourself to us all in a new, powerful and undeniable way. Help us to see where we as Christians truly stand with you and help us to lead others to this understanding. Enlarge my comprehension, expand my ability to know, love and seek you. Thank you Lord for hearing my prayer.

Heaven helped me 1/28/09
God bless you immeasurably!

~~D. Jones shared some great insights in response to this:

"Wow -- such wonderful thoughts. I loved the book quote you included, especially where he said, "Faith does not make it real. It is real whether the Christian believes it or not. It is real because God who cannot lie declares it to be so." That is so true. That is true whether or not I feel loved, whether or not I feel safe, whether or not I feel like I can accomplish something, whether or not I feel accepted. The reality is that I AM loved, safe, able in Him to do whatever needs to be done, and I AM accepted. And it will always be that way, because He doesn't change.

Something that I began realizing a few years ago is how flipped our thinking often is regarding reality. In His presence, I begin realizing that what seems real most often isn't, and what seems like an unrealistic fantasy actually is real. My feelings, unchecked, gravitate to the things that seem real, but aren't (discouragement, feelings of aloneness, anxiety, etc.). But the true reality is that I always have a reason to hope, I'm never alone, He Himself is my peace, and on and on.
Thanks for letting out all the treasures He's packed inside you. You're a great treasure chest."

D. Jones

False Failure

“Perfection consists not in doing extraordinary things, but in doing ordinary things extraordinarily well. Neglect nothing; the most trivial action may be performed to God.” --Angelique Arnauld

I inherited from my mother the inability to gracefully prepare and pull off a party in which I have to cook and serve food. Thankfully we have lots of friends who excel in that skill and I always try and enlist them to help out when it comes time to throw a soirée. One such friend suggested we throw a baby shower for my expecting sister. (this is an old story so don't panic people, no currently preggo sisters)

The whole “let US” throw a party sounded good to me since it would be a team effort and I wouldn't have to be the sole provider of all the necessary party planning, cooking and entertaining. In my typical style I delegated out the majority of tasks to others. Most often my favorite role in things is “supervising” rather than the doing. Hey, if there are many talented and willing gourmet chefs who would love to contribute why take that pleasure away from them.

I decided to commit an absolute cardinal sin of cooking for a party and make something for the first time that was also my own concoction—as in no recipe. It is not a good idea to risk making a never before made dish to serve to 30+ people. But I have no time and no guinea pigs to test on, and I am a risk taker extraordinaire. I thought it would be tasty since it was a fruit trifle in a trifle bowl and I always think those are so colorful and pretty. If anything it would at least be eye pleasing if it wasn't taste bud pleasing.

As I was driving to the party destination I was praying that we would have peace and tranquility while adding the final touches to the party before the guests arrived. And that as we finished fixing the last minute parts of the meal we would have a great time of fellowship and the party would be a success. In the days and weeks before the party I had been asking God repeatedly for it to be a time of blessing to everyone there and kept asking Him to use me to help bless others in all the conversations I would have.

I was so pleased with myself that I was actually not running late and would have plenty of time to assemble my trifle before the party started. Pride cometh before a fall. I was mentally running through all the items in my car and suddenly realized just as I was arriving that I had forgotten one of the major ingredients for my dessert. Great.

I walked into the house and southing music was playing and my team mate was singing along softly and lit up and smilingly said “Wow, you are on time.” I instantly lost it and spit out “No, I am not, as usual I have to screw things up somehow, because I am a flake and have forgotten the main ingredient. I am going to have to turn around and drive home and back which is going to make me late, as usual.” My sister walked in about this time. And I continued on saying, “I was just praying that we would have peace and tranquility rather than the typical screaming and tearing out of hair that takes place in my family prior to parties. And now look at me screaming and totally NOT calm.”

My sister smiled and said, “Well, it was pretty peaceful until you showed up.” I then stomped out the door and when I returned with forgotten item in hand, many people had already showed up. Ugh, prompt people, I just don't understand them.

So instead of ushering in the guests with grace and thanks for coming, I was hurriedly with tear stained cheeks trying to assemble my trifle. The rest of the party I just felt a little harried and hurried, jumping from one thing to the next and never really got to talk to anyone. The trifle turned out delicious and was beautiful for a whole three minutes before we dug into it and devoured it.

After the party had ended and all but five of us remained I started crying and said, “I feel like a failure, because everything I had prayed about didn't happen, I wasn't calm and I didn't talk to anybody and certainly didn't pass along any blessing. The only person I talked to at all was Mystique*, I talked to her a couple of times, but she was the ONLY one. I totally failed.”

One of the ladies said, “Oh, wait was Mystique the 13 yr old who is Sandy's* first foster child. I hear they are both having a really hard time adjusting to each other and the whole foster parent process. When I tried to talk to her she completely ignored me and didn't even respond to me.” Another lady said the same thing, “Yeah when I said hello to her and tried to talk to her she just looked at me and then looked away. She didn't even say hi, back.” All four of the ladies admitted that she wouldn't even respond or look at them and they were completely shocked that she could even talk at all.

I said, “Really, I talked to her a bunch she followed me around for a while as I was cleaning things up, she kept coming up to me and talking. We talked about all kinds of things. She was really sweet and likes to read a lot too, so we talked about books.”

We all sat there looking at each other in astonishment. Then one of them said, “Your prayer was answered, God had one person in mind for you to talk to and connect with and you did. You weren't a failure at all. You succeeded where everyone else had failed.”

Therefore my new favorite reminder to myself rang true, “My sense of failure was false.”
I realized that it was indeed special and I should take it seriously that God wanted me for some reason to meet and talk with this girl. So when I got home I searched throughout my library for books I thought were age appropriate that she might like. I painstaking composed a card (I like writing but cards are torture) put the books and card together and included a cool silver angel holding a starburst that said “hope”. The next day was Sunday and I chased her down at church and shyly said, “Here I thought you might like these.” I had also printed out some of my little writing emails to give to someone else and impulsively decided to give them to her instead.

Later that week I talked to her foster mom and she told me that she had attached the angel to her most precious possession, her cell phone and that she had really enjoyed reading my emails. I then added her email address to this list. I decided that I would try and find her the following Sunday and see if she wanted to do something together. I was praying as I was running (late) into church that I would be able to find her and another person so that I could make plans with both of them. I opened the door took two steps and heard my name. There was Mystique and she said, “Wow, I was just thinking about you and hoping to see you.” I looked at her and smiled right back and sincerely said, “I was just praying the same thing.” And then we both said "Coooool.” I walked in and grabbed the first seat I saw and not two minutes went by and the other person I wanted to talk to walked in and came over and hugged me. I said to God... “Coooool, thanks for making things easy for me.”

Mystique and I decided to grab breakfast together at Ihop the next morning with her foster mom. We had a great time together and talked about so many things. We both just shared about our lives, a lot of it about the tougher things we have gone through. Her foster mother sat across from us and was pretty quiet the entire time. I wondered a couple of times if I shouldn't have been talking so much “Christian”stuff and all of my “Christian” advice of how to handle the hard times, might somehow be inappropriate. But she seemed interested and receptive to everything I said so I just went for it.

Her foster mom called me the next day and said she learned more about her and her life in the hour and half we spent at breakfast than she had in the previous 90 days they had been together. She said she was so happy to hear me say so many of the things I said, and that so much of my advice was about issues she would have loved to have brought up and discussed with her but never had.

About two or three days later Mystique was allowed to return to her family. This story happened about 6 or 7 months ago and I continue to pray for her and for her life. Out of the blue, she called me last night and left a message which prompted me to write this email. She said that she is currently living with her grandparents in another state. I wonder what might have happened to lead to that. I don't pretend to know or understand what she has gone through in her young life of only 13 years. I only know that God had us meet and connect for a reason. Therefore I will do what I can, which is pray and ask you to do the same.

Sorry this one is long but I feel like all the components were necessary. Who knows if I would have felt the gravity of meeting her, if I hadn't been boo whoooing about being a failure...I try and remind myself that sometimes even my accidents can result in good. I am pretty accident prone so...

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

It is also great to remember that there is a much more efficient and calm Supervisor over us all. And we can rest assured that He isn't forgetting any essential ingredients in our lives.

Lord, please help us to try to do all of our ordinary things extraordinarily well for You. Use us in good times and bad to help others look to you for all their needs and remind us to do the same. Help us to find peace and tranquility amidst turmoil and remember that you are always watching over us with love and affection.

**Everybody's names were changed to protect their identity. If you want to pray for them I am sure God will know who you are talking about no matter what you call them.

Heaven helped me 1/10/09
God bless you,
A*

Christmas Caroling continued

"Charlie Chaplin said, 'A day without laughter is a day wasted.' I try to laugh once a day just in case." --movie Shining Through

So where did I leave off in my last email...Hmmm yeah I don't remember either.

Oh, that's right I was Christmas Caroling with my little group of 3. I had cried because I didn't get the raise I wanted and God showed me just how blessed I was while walking around caroling in public housing. Both little girl 1 and 2 had offered me great advice in my time of tears that "God must have a better job for you" and "Maybe in being lost God was trying to take you somewhere new." Girl # 3 had her chance a little later to offer wise words as well.

I had previously promised the young ladies that in honor of one's birthday I would take them roller skating. They had been begging me while we were trying to spread Christmas cheer to leave and go skating. I told them that we needed to "enjoy the now" and decide after we were done, what to do next. After we finished singing the whole group convened back at Granny's house and we had cocoa and listened to a great story shared by a lady I greatly admire. Her story on the power of prayer was very relateable to our young audience because it was about a prayer she made when she was 7. God had answered it thirty (or so) years later by making it possible to go on a trip to Africa, which is what she had asked for when she was a wee little one.

Everybody was then encouraged to break into groups and pray. I was asked to join a different group than my girls and tried to wrangle some four year olds into praying together, which was interesting in and of itself. Girl 1, 2, and 3, I could hear intermittently giggling in the background. I asked if they had prayed for me since I had been previously told by one of them that I needed it and with wide eyes they simultaneously said, "Ohhhh...." and then went right to it.

Soon after, we all climbed in the car and I looked at them and said, "Okay, let's go rollerskating." They all three started laughing and said, "Our prayers were answered because that is what we had prayed for." We arrived at the roller rink, all ran inside and were told Thursday night is private party night and we couldn't skate. As we were walking back to the car Girl #1 pointed out that they had only prayed to GO to the rink not to actually skate, next time they should pray to skate. Next we drove to the bowling alley and there wasn't even a parking space to be found so we thought it was probably to crowded to even bother going inside. Next we tried the movie theater and all the movies had already started.

After all that driving around and nothing seeming to work out, I turned to them and said, "Well, ladies I guess we are all having to deal with big disappointments today." And this time it was Girl #3 chance to shine as she piped in her happy little way, "But it's not what we do, it's all about spending time together." So true, so true, I am not sure, really, who is teaching who.

Despite much protest, I decided we would just meet up with Girl #3's foster mom who was at the mall and then I would take the other girls home.

So imagine what happened at the mall, not doing anything special....We had a great time. Girl #3's mom gifted us with ice cream cones for each...I even got one due to a miscalculation. And there sitting at the table we had the best time giggling as only little girls can. It is the time spent together that is special not the activity, or amount of money I try not to spend. It is the moments when we all together, enjoy each other's presence. Nothing more, nothing less, just the sheer pleasure of being together.

Since God wastes nothing, my earlier tears and anguish were used for good later. When I took the last girl home I went in and hung out with her family and I heard her say how she was "no good at school, she just can't do it, she is no good." I instantly turned to her and said,"Do you remember how in the car I was being mean to myself and saying how I was a loser, etc. Remember how you stopped me. Please, don't be mean to yourself, please stop this now and forever, don't ever give up and say you can't do something, no matter what it is...Never be cruel instead remind yourself constantly "I can do all things through Christ'.

I gave this verse to my 1st and 2nd grade Sunday school class to memorize and her little brother who is in that class was standing there and he lit up with a great big smile and instantly he said, 'Yes, Philippians 4:13."

It blew me away. I teach a pretty big class of anywhere from 20-30 kids. You never know how much they are actually absorbing and learning. To hear him say that made my heart soar...he goes to public school so it is not like he is learning scripture there. Whatever though, the point is if I can help one kid remember that and tell themselves that instead of the negative jargon I like to replay in my head, I just can't imagine what a positive impact that would have on their self esteem etc.

I am my own worst enemy so much of the time and I need to take my own advice and build myself up with that scripture verse. I need to stop focusing on the things I didn't do or in some cases did and instead see that the reality of many of my "disappointments" is not what I make it out to be. I once read in a prayer book a very timely phrase, "Your sense of failure is false." And so often it is.

Yeah the girls and I didn't do any of the big cool things like, roller skating, going bowling or to a movie, but it really didn't matter. We had more fun just being together and we didn't need to do any of those grand things to have fun.

Lord, please let the desires of my heart not be for any grand worthless things but instead let me simply desire a better relationship with You Lord and with others. Let me seek not empty earthly pleasures but instead let me search for more of your gifts. Help me to know deep down that your scripture is true in that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." -Philippians 4:13

Heaven helped me 1/6/09
God bless you,
A*