Christmas Caroling continued

"Charlie Chaplin said, 'A day without laughter is a day wasted.' I try to laugh once a day just in case." --movie Shining Through

So where did I leave off in my last email...Hmmm yeah I don't remember either.

Oh, that's right I was Christmas Caroling with my little group of 3. I had cried because I didn't get the raise I wanted and God showed me just how blessed I was while walking around caroling in public housing. Both little girl 1 and 2 had offered me great advice in my time of tears that "God must have a better job for you" and "Maybe in being lost God was trying to take you somewhere new." Girl # 3 had her chance a little later to offer wise words as well.

I had previously promised the young ladies that in honor of one's birthday I would take them roller skating. They had been begging me while we were trying to spread Christmas cheer to leave and go skating. I told them that we needed to "enjoy the now" and decide after we were done, what to do next. After we finished singing the whole group convened back at Granny's house and we had cocoa and listened to a great story shared by a lady I greatly admire. Her story on the power of prayer was very relateable to our young audience because it was about a prayer she made when she was 7. God had answered it thirty (or so) years later by making it possible to go on a trip to Africa, which is what she had asked for when she was a wee little one.

Everybody was then encouraged to break into groups and pray. I was asked to join a different group than my girls and tried to wrangle some four year olds into praying together, which was interesting in and of itself. Girl 1, 2, and 3, I could hear intermittently giggling in the background. I asked if they had prayed for me since I had been previously told by one of them that I needed it and with wide eyes they simultaneously said, "Ohhhh...." and then went right to it.

Soon after, we all climbed in the car and I looked at them and said, "Okay, let's go rollerskating." They all three started laughing and said, "Our prayers were answered because that is what we had prayed for." We arrived at the roller rink, all ran inside and were told Thursday night is private party night and we couldn't skate. As we were walking back to the car Girl #1 pointed out that they had only prayed to GO to the rink not to actually skate, next time they should pray to skate. Next we drove to the bowling alley and there wasn't even a parking space to be found so we thought it was probably to crowded to even bother going inside. Next we tried the movie theater and all the movies had already started.

After all that driving around and nothing seeming to work out, I turned to them and said, "Well, ladies I guess we are all having to deal with big disappointments today." And this time it was Girl #3 chance to shine as she piped in her happy little way, "But it's not what we do, it's all about spending time together." So true, so true, I am not sure, really, who is teaching who.

Despite much protest, I decided we would just meet up with Girl #3's foster mom who was at the mall and then I would take the other girls home.

So imagine what happened at the mall, not doing anything special....We had a great time. Girl #3's mom gifted us with ice cream cones for each...I even got one due to a miscalculation. And there sitting at the table we had the best time giggling as only little girls can. It is the time spent together that is special not the activity, or amount of money I try not to spend. It is the moments when we all together, enjoy each other's presence. Nothing more, nothing less, just the sheer pleasure of being together.

Since God wastes nothing, my earlier tears and anguish were used for good later. When I took the last girl home I went in and hung out with her family and I heard her say how she was "no good at school, she just can't do it, she is no good." I instantly turned to her and said,"Do you remember how in the car I was being mean to myself and saying how I was a loser, etc. Remember how you stopped me. Please, don't be mean to yourself, please stop this now and forever, don't ever give up and say you can't do something, no matter what it is...Never be cruel instead remind yourself constantly "I can do all things through Christ'.

I gave this verse to my 1st and 2nd grade Sunday school class to memorize and her little brother who is in that class was standing there and he lit up with a great big smile and instantly he said, 'Yes, Philippians 4:13."

It blew me away. I teach a pretty big class of anywhere from 20-30 kids. You never know how much they are actually absorbing and learning. To hear him say that made my heart soar...he goes to public school so it is not like he is learning scripture there. Whatever though, the point is if I can help one kid remember that and tell themselves that instead of the negative jargon I like to replay in my head, I just can't imagine what a positive impact that would have on their self esteem etc.

I am my own worst enemy so much of the time and I need to take my own advice and build myself up with that scripture verse. I need to stop focusing on the things I didn't do or in some cases did and instead see that the reality of many of my "disappointments" is not what I make it out to be. I once read in a prayer book a very timely phrase, "Your sense of failure is false." And so often it is.

Yeah the girls and I didn't do any of the big cool things like, roller skating, going bowling or to a movie, but it really didn't matter. We had more fun just being together and we didn't need to do any of those grand things to have fun.

Lord, please let the desires of my heart not be for any grand worthless things but instead let me simply desire a better relationship with You Lord and with others. Let me seek not empty earthly pleasures but instead let me search for more of your gifts. Help me to know deep down that your scripture is true in that "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." -Philippians 4:13

Heaven helped me 1/6/09
God bless you,
A*