Christmas Caroling

I had signed up weeks in advance to go Christmas Caroling with Granny's House which is an awesome charity for kids to participate in after school. It is located in the public housing section next to downtown and provides love, snacks and teaching about Jesus to boys and girls of all ages. The first time I was supposed to go I backed out because I was sick and honestly, I wasn't that enthused about going this time either. It was so cold out and I had been working a lot and not getting enough sleep. I had also signed up my little girl group to join me. I was leaving straight after my 7am to 4pm work shift to go pick up the girls to get there at 5 pm.

As I walking to my car in the parking lot my supervisor chased me down and finally informed me about my potential promotion. I didn't get it. I quickly got in my car and started crying. I was surprised at my tears because I didn't think that I had really cared about it that much, but apparently I did. It wasn't really the slight that stung because the other person had more experience, it was more that I wouldn't be getting the raise I was hoping for; it wasn't that big of a raise but anything would help.

I was driving and crying and decided to take a different way to pick up girl #1. I got thoroughly lost. So now I am driving around lost, angry, sad and crying. I decided that I better call Girl #2's mom and inform her that I was going to be super late and wasn't sure I even wanted to go at this point. I had now seriously escalated into full blown freak out. It wasn't the mom that answered it was actually one of my girls and I just started crying to her about everything. I said I didn't get a promotion so I won't get a raise, I am lost because I am stupid and I am going to be late and I am always late because I am a flake and I don't want to bail on this again and be an even bigger flake. Waaaa waaaa waaaa.

Thankfully my little ten year old friend was thinking more clearly than me and she said, “Well, that means that God probably has a better job for you.” That shut me up. I had finally found the house and Girl #2 jumped in the car just as I was hanging up with Girl # 1. She took one look at my red watery eyes and her bright eyed smile faded and she said, “Are you okay, what's wrong.” I have no idea why the question of what's wrong always so easily reopens a wound. But sure enough the flood gates were reopened and I started crying about how I wasn't going to get the raise I was really hoping for and I had been lost forever; and why do I always get lost, why, why?

Once again my other little friend provided excellent advice also. She said, “Well, maybe God was trying to take you somewhere special while you were lost.” I said, “I was driving around the Parkade neighborhood and I don't think God was trying to take me anywhere, there.” She excitedly piped up, “Oh, did you see my school? You haven't picked me up at that school, you have only been to my summer school.” She was right I now knew how to get to her school. God had definitely taken me somewhere new.

I still wasn't sold on the idea of caroling at this point and girl #1's mom had advised me not to go in my upset and late state. I decided to call Girl #3's foster mom and see what her thoughts were about going. As always, she was as sweet as a pixie stix and said I should do whatever I wanted. Then she softly said as an afterthought the crucial statement of, “You never know, if you go God might show you something.”

I had to go then...when someone says anything like that or “you are going to miss out if you don't” or other such phrases along those lines, I just have to go. I would hate to miss out on anything God might want to specifically reveal to me.

Because we arrived a half an hour late all the kids and adults were already outside of Granny's House and about to set off singing. We were told to join the group already holding hands in a circle. The lady leading the group said, “Let's pray before we go, who wants to pray?” Nobody offered and suddenly girl#1 and #2 are pointing at me saying, “She wants to pray. I thought to myself, “Great I am not in the mood for this, if anything I should pray about my mood.” So I bumbled and mumbled around with a pretty lousy prayer.

When I was done and we were setting off to start caroling I turned on the girls and said, “Gee, thanks a lot for offering me up to pray.” Girl #2 looked at me and she said, “YOU REALLY DID NEED TO PRAY!”

It hit me like a ton of bricks. Wow, was she right! I really did need to pray. I tried to rewind back and recall if I actually prayed during that whole lost, tear fest. Did I or was I just whining? There is definitely a difference. You can pray a whining prayer and or you can also just be complaining to God. I think it was more a big boo-whoo, whoa is me, cry baby tirade and I should have spent that time PRAYING, trusting and relying on my faith in God for my future and finances.

“I cry aloud to the LORD; I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is You who know my way.” Psalm 142:1-3

It is an easy guess if you think about it, what God showed me while caroling to all the different public housing tenants...

I saw that I was blessed to have the job I do and that so many people would love to have it. What I think is such meager pay would be a lot of money to other people and that I am spoiled in so, so many ways. I should be unendingly thankful to God for every single little and big thing I have- be it my beloved highlighter pens or my paid off car. I have so many blessings, I really have so much and even if I didn't own a thing or I didn't have a condo full of stuff, I would still have a heart full of all the love I feel for everyone.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17

My whole life is a gift, everybody I know is a gift. Every smile or laugh I get is precious and the best present I could ask for from anyone. I am already rich and thinking I am poor is a lie. I am rich in love. I am rich in God's blessing. I am rich with happiness and joy. I am rich with family and friends. I am rich in that I have already lived such a full and unbelievable life and I am still young. I am rich because I am finally coming to realize the reality of how wealthy I really am!

"You have kept count of my wanderings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book? Then my enemies will turn back in the day when I call. This I know, that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me? I must perform my vows to you, O God; I will render thank offerings to you. For you have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life." Psalm 56:8-13

This story is to be continued because so much more happened that evening.
Heaven helped me 12/22/08
Love Always,
A*