I love to sparkle! My nickname in high school was glitter girl and I have yet to think to much glitz is a bad thing. I think Liberace's rhinestone piano was cool, okay. I recently purchased a pair of jeans that had little fake diamonds in various places around the waistband. I loved the little eye catching panche the sparkles added to an otherwise ordinary pair of blue jeans. These jeans were very cute, so don't start envisioning infomercial Bedazzler looking denim. I do like to think I have decent taste, but I realize I did just mention I like Liberace's style...so...bear with me please.
After a couple of washes whatever was keeping the rhinestones attached was coming loose and the metal was sticking out in such a way as to catch and rip my clothes. If I sat in a chair I would find myself suddenly velcro'd to it and have to move in such a way as to not damage upholstery, fabric or my skin. (Don't worry mom I didn't do any more destruction to your couch).
After a long annoying day of this I inspected the jeans and noticed that I had lost a diamond on the back of the jeans and that the now empty metal bracket was what was reeking such havoc. At first I attempted to replace the little rhinestone back in the bracket but realized that many of the other ones were loose and that this problem would not be easily solved and would continue to happen. So I grabbed a screw driver and popped off the silver bracket. It surprised me that it came off so easily and I wondered how it had ever stayed on at all. I stood there struggling with what to do next.
I loved the twinkling little sparkles because they were what made the jeans special but if they were going to keep snagging and scratching me they were not worth the pain. So at first I popped off the loose ones, and then I begrudgingly plucked off all of them. Bereft of all the diamonds my jeans now just looked like any ordinary old pair of jeans. But now they were comfortable, now I could wear them fearlessly knowing that I would not be leaving in my wake shirts, jackets, and chairs that were shredded to pieces. I could also wear them much more often without somebody noticing that due to the distinctive diamonds I was particularly partial to that pair of jeans.
To my surprise friends complimented me on them, post plucked, and liked the way the color was distressed or commented on the fit, and other such things I hadn't fully appreciated when I was blinded by the bling. So where might you ask am I going in all of this.
I think sometimes we focus on the wrong things and instead of adding to our lives, they instead take away and hurt and hamper us. Maybe the things about ourselves that make us special that we want to hold onto aren't always what is best for us. For instance the flashy car you really can't afford, highlighted hair, wasting valuable time-- getting your nails done, watching tv, gossiping or obsessing over sports. But there are also bigger and more personal things that are like the pesky dazzlers. And these things might be easier than you think to change...with the Lord's help.
In a Beth Moore Bible study “Breaking Free” it asks you to examine different characteristics you might have received both good and bad from your grandparents and your parents. These are often things we think along the lines of “Well, I got it from them and that's just the way we are in my family, I can't help it.” Be it a bad temper, addiction, inability or overabundance of showing affection, workaholic/lazy, volume control issues, eating issues, fears/phobias, gullibility/skepticism, negativity, and foot in mouth syndrome to name a few.
It's charming that I need to put my foot in my mouth constantly, or all the customers I deal with REALLY are big fat liars so it's not being overly negative or skeptical, right. I used to always say “people never change.” And I came to the conclusion that the only person I can change is me. Because I have been transforming (slowly but surely) I have to revamp my previous declaration that people can't change because if I can change then anybody can!
I think believing you can is the first step and then taking the screwdriver to the issue is the next step. You can't leave the loose rhinestones on there and not expect them to cause the same problems as the first one. You can't stare at the tv and expect your house to be clean and the Lord to meet with you if you aren't even making the time or effort to seek Him out. You have to give some things up with the Lord's help and you will gain other things you hadn't even fathomed existed.
Here are two of my favorite scriptures:
~Isaiah 58:6-14
“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter—when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood? Then your light will break forth like the dawn, and your healing will quickly appear; Then your righteousness will go before you, and the glory of the Lord will be your rear guard. Then you will call, and the Lord will answer; You will cry for help, and He will say: Here am I.
If you do away with the yoke of oppression, with the pointing finger malicious talk, and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday. The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Your people will rebuild ancient ruins and will raise up the age old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets and Dwellings. ~Isaiah 58:6-14
~Jeremiah 29:14
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord. Jeremiah 29:14
Heaven helped me 5/30/08
Love Always,
A*
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Spatula
I love to eat and therefore love to cook. I would consider myself a pretty good gourmet and would describe my style as a kind of Macgyver chef. For all you young-uns, Macgyver was a show on tv from 1985-1992 (gotta love Google) in which the main character was a secret agent who could fabricate anything using everyday household objects. I think I remember him zip lining out of a burning building with a tube sock and building explosives with Duracell batteries, paper clips (he was always using paper clips for every thing) and pennies. I can never find a paper clip to save my life but he would find one in a cow pasture during a tornado.
I digress, but the general idea is I can take whatever random things I find in my pantry and fridge and usually whip something up that is pretty tasty. For instance the other day I made a steak, Gorgonzola, avocado and steak frittata using my leftover fillet and Gorgonzola from dinner the night before. It was divine. I scooped it out of the pan and as I was watching the steam come off of it, I stood there slowly licking the spatula. I started thinking why am I wasting my time licking off the little tidbits stuck to the spatula when I have a hot and mouth watering whole plate of real food in front of me.
I realized though that by spending the time being, oh so unsophisticated—you don't see Martha Steward licking the spoons on her cooking show- I was giving my hot, hot dish time to cool off. I can't dive into my steamy steak concoction without dire consequences to the taste buds on my tongue. After dumping the deliciousness on my plate I had scraped up the crispy bits of avocado still clinging to the pan and this was what I was paying particular attention to removing so uncouthly from the utensil.
These flaky pieces can not really be enjoyed any other way. They just are not as crisp if you scrap them on top of all the other food because the heat and steam softens them up. And after you use a little elbow grease and angling to free them from the pan they are sufficiently cool and ready for entry into your mouth. Obviously, you have to be careful and not instantly put the hot spatula in your mouth either and risk reaping the fuzzy white sweater of numb tongue, in which you have a bunch of dead, worthless taste buds hanging out not doing their job, just hindering taste enjoyment and feeling funny.
What do I see in this...sometimes restraint in stopping yourself from rushing headlong into something, and not diving into the steaming hot dish is a better course of action. Sometimes not being a class act has benefits. For instance one of my deals with God is whenever he tells me to get on my knees I do it. This has proved interesting at times. For instance after an emotionally draining long, long day while out of town, I finally got on the elevator to go up to my hotel room. I felt the Holy Spirit say get on your knees, I very begrudgingly got on my knees raised my hands to heaven and cried out “What do you want from me.”
Yeah, not a very good attitude. Thankfully the doors didn't open at that exact moment and scare some group of kids on their way out to hit the town. Now maybe if they had seen me whining to God on my knees in the elevator it would have made them think twice about whatever trouble they might have been up too at that time of night. But like I said the doors didn't open. I pretty much instantly felt remorseful about my attitude and I think I said I was sorry.
Either way the next day was awesome so when I found myself alone again going up to my room I was so happy that I got back on my knees in that same elevator and thanked the Lord and apologized again for being a brat the day before. Obviously part of the reason I was especially rude about it was the fear of looking like a complete fool if the doors did open and people were standing there. That was part of it and the other part was I was tired, cranky, and worn out... but what's new.
After reading in 2 Samuel 6:21 about David saying, “I will celebrate before the Lord. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes.” I told the Lord I would be a fool for Him, that I would do whatever He asks and not let what others might think of my actions hold me back. As I have said many a time the Lord answers prayers so be careful what you pray for because He is listening, I obviously do not actually follow this advice.
I say “Bring it on, Lord, bring it on, whatever you got I will take it!”
For instance I was walking up to the entrance of a store yesterday and I was thinking about someone I had been praying for healing for the last couple of days and I started praying in tongues* out loud. I don't think I really thought about it or realized that I was until I noticed a guy standing near the door on his cell phone staring at me all wide eyed with his mouth gaping open. I just started laughing and smiled and opened the door and walked into the store and really started laughing.
As in the elevator what do you say to someone who sees or hears you doing something like this. In either case I don't even have a witty something to say, other than I told the Lord I would be a fool for Him and he is answering my prayers.
Titus 3:1 “Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.”
Heaven helped me on 6/1/08
Love Always,
A*
*If you have no idea what “praying in tongues” is the previous “google” it suggestion applies. Just put in-- Holy Spirit speaking in tongues. I got this link when I did it, which was pretty good. http://www.tbm.org/tongues.htm
And to the person I once referred to the Holy Spirit as “a whole can of worms we can discuss later” it's looking like later to me, if you want to give me a call.
I digress, but the general idea is I can take whatever random things I find in my pantry and fridge and usually whip something up that is pretty tasty. For instance the other day I made a steak, Gorgonzola, avocado and steak frittata using my leftover fillet and Gorgonzola from dinner the night before. It was divine. I scooped it out of the pan and as I was watching the steam come off of it, I stood there slowly licking the spatula. I started thinking why am I wasting my time licking off the little tidbits stuck to the spatula when I have a hot and mouth watering whole plate of real food in front of me.
I realized though that by spending the time being, oh so unsophisticated—you don't see Martha Steward licking the spoons on her cooking show- I was giving my hot, hot dish time to cool off. I can't dive into my steamy steak concoction without dire consequences to the taste buds on my tongue. After dumping the deliciousness on my plate I had scraped up the crispy bits of avocado still clinging to the pan and this was what I was paying particular attention to removing so uncouthly from the utensil.
These flaky pieces can not really be enjoyed any other way. They just are not as crisp if you scrap them on top of all the other food because the heat and steam softens them up. And after you use a little elbow grease and angling to free them from the pan they are sufficiently cool and ready for entry into your mouth. Obviously, you have to be careful and not instantly put the hot spatula in your mouth either and risk reaping the fuzzy white sweater of numb tongue, in which you have a bunch of dead, worthless taste buds hanging out not doing their job, just hindering taste enjoyment and feeling funny.
What do I see in this...sometimes restraint in stopping yourself from rushing headlong into something, and not diving into the steaming hot dish is a better course of action. Sometimes not being a class act has benefits. For instance one of my deals with God is whenever he tells me to get on my knees I do it. This has proved interesting at times. For instance after an emotionally draining long, long day while out of town, I finally got on the elevator to go up to my hotel room. I felt the Holy Spirit say get on your knees, I very begrudgingly got on my knees raised my hands to heaven and cried out “What do you want from me.”
Yeah, not a very good attitude. Thankfully the doors didn't open at that exact moment and scare some group of kids on their way out to hit the town. Now maybe if they had seen me whining to God on my knees in the elevator it would have made them think twice about whatever trouble they might have been up too at that time of night. But like I said the doors didn't open. I pretty much instantly felt remorseful about my attitude and I think I said I was sorry.
Either way the next day was awesome so when I found myself alone again going up to my room I was so happy that I got back on my knees in that same elevator and thanked the Lord and apologized again for being a brat the day before. Obviously part of the reason I was especially rude about it was the fear of looking like a complete fool if the doors did open and people were standing there. That was part of it and the other part was I was tired, cranky, and worn out... but what's new.
After reading in 2 Samuel 6:21 about David saying, “I will celebrate before the Lord. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes.” I told the Lord I would be a fool for Him, that I would do whatever He asks and not let what others might think of my actions hold me back. As I have said many a time the Lord answers prayers so be careful what you pray for because He is listening, I obviously do not actually follow this advice.
I say “Bring it on, Lord, bring it on, whatever you got I will take it!”
For instance I was walking up to the entrance of a store yesterday and I was thinking about someone I had been praying for healing for the last couple of days and I started praying in tongues* out loud. I don't think I really thought about it or realized that I was until I noticed a guy standing near the door on his cell phone staring at me all wide eyed with his mouth gaping open. I just started laughing and smiled and opened the door and walked into the store and really started laughing.
As in the elevator what do you say to someone who sees or hears you doing something like this. In either case I don't even have a witty something to say, other than I told the Lord I would be a fool for Him and he is answering my prayers.
Titus 3:1 “Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and to show true humility toward all men.”
Heaven helped me on 6/1/08
Love Always,
A*
*If you have no idea what “praying in tongues” is the previous “google” it suggestion applies. Just put in-- Holy Spirit speaking in tongues. I got this link when I did it, which was pretty good. http://www.tbm.org/tongues.htm
And to the person I once referred to the Holy Spirit as “a whole can of worms we can discuss later” it's looking like later to me, if you want to give me a call.
Monday, November 24, 2008
His Love is Everywhere
I was blessed enough to be asked to speak for a few minutes at our annual church women's retreat. As I was given no topic and free reign to talk about whatever I wanted, I went through about a million things to discuss. I was worried because I was given a short time to talk and knew that would be the most difficult part about my speaking. As you have probably noticed I love to talk. I can talk on and on and on, in person and not just on paper. My older sister once described me as “never having met a stranger” and I thought that was pretty funny and very accurate. The group of people I had never seen before, whom I interrupted and then talked to for 30 minutes out in the parking lot after church this Sunday can attest to that. They now know my life story (not kidding) and all about the revival going on in Lakeland and they definitely aren't strangers now.
The week leading up to the women's retreat I found myself super stressed out, not getting any sleep and generally under attack by the enemy on all sides. At the retreat I joked that Satan kept throwing those nails strips under my tires trying to stop me from coming to the retreat. Cops throw these strips with nails on them out in front of runaway vehicles and they shred their tires causing them to slow down or stop. I said I was riding on rims to get to the retreat but I made it and didn't let anything stop me. (When I told that to someone they responded that riding on rims would cause sparks and I liked that image)
My sister had the misfortune to carpool with me the hour and half it takes to get to the resort called Tan~Tara where the event was held. I was thinking if I could not ride down with me, I would; Because I so worn out and stressed out that I was sick of myself. You know what I am talking about when you wish you could take a vacation from yourself, I wished I didn't have to carpool with me. The drive was especially interesting because the elements were conspiring against me as storms were rolling in, the skies were very dark and extremely high winds kept buffeting the car. I just felt like another thing was going wrong and it was adding to my negative attitude. I was worried some ladies might be deterred from coming with the weather the way it was or someone might get in an accident. So I prayed that both would not happen and that the Lord would keep everyone safe and that they would be in a better mood than me.
The terrain to the resort has lots of little hills and after popping over one, I was suddenly struck by the beauty in the distant sky up ahead. There was a large opening in the dark cloud cover and tons a big fat rays of golden sunlight were pouring down. I got so excited and pointed it out to my sister and said, “Maybe all those rays are shining down right now on the resort where we are going. Maybe God is just pouring down His blessings on it preparing it for this weekend!” I was so uplifted at just the sight of it. Then my compilation CD switched to a new song whose lyrics were “your love is everywhere, your love is everywhere.”
Yes, His love is everywhere! The sun was shining everywhere above the thick cloud cover, just because I didn't see it shining down all over didn't mean it wasn't there. I just didn't have the ability to see it, from where I was. The break in the clouds made the streaming sunlight breathtakingly beautiful; whereas if it was just an ordinary sunny day I wouldn't have even thought about the sun, its rays or even appreciated its beauty. I would have taken for granted the dazzling orb's light and all its varied abilities. Much like God's love.
God's love is everywhere, He is everywhere regardless of whether or not we sense it or see it, His love is everywhere. When the clouds and times in our lives are darkest and His love and support bursts through and comforts us it is all the more dramatic and breathtaking. But on any given day, no matter cloudy or sunny, rainy or snowy the sun is still shinning above the cloud cover. The sun is constant, it doesn't change, it is always shining blindingly bright giving light and life to all.
I remember once taking off down the runway in a plane on a very cloudy and dreary day. The plane climbed and climbed blurring through the clouds until suddenly we burst through them and it was a glorious day with brilliant blue skies and a carpet of white and gray clouds underneath us. On the ground it was a miserable day but once you soared past the layer of clouds it was a totally different world in which the storm clouds underneath became beautiful and no longer oppressive. The contrast was so extreme, it was the same day and only feet and seconds made all the difference in what I saw and felt about the day.
Lord, please reveal to us your ever constant presence, let Your light shine to us and through us. Please continue to comfort us through our dark and cloudy days. Please give us a new perspective and take us higher in You to see and experience new things in You. Let us always bask in Your ever present love.
Psalm 44:3 “ It was not by their sword that they won the land, nor did their arm bring them victory; it was your right hand, your arm, and the light of your face, for you loved them. You are my King and my God, who decrees victories for Jacob. Through you we push back our enemies; through your name we trample our foes. I do not trust in my bow, my sword does not bring me victory; but you give us victory over our enemies, you put our adversaries to shame. In God we make our boast all day long, and we will praise your name forever.”
Psalm 109:21 & 26 “But you, O Sovereign LORD, deal well with me for your name's sake; out of the goodness of your love, deliver me. Help me, O LORD my God; save me in accordance with your love.
Heaven helped me 6/5/08
Love Always,
A*
The week leading up to the women's retreat I found myself super stressed out, not getting any sleep and generally under attack by the enemy on all sides. At the retreat I joked that Satan kept throwing those nails strips under my tires trying to stop me from coming to the retreat. Cops throw these strips with nails on them out in front of runaway vehicles and they shred their tires causing them to slow down or stop. I said I was riding on rims to get to the retreat but I made it and didn't let anything stop me. (When I told that to someone they responded that riding on rims would cause sparks and I liked that image)
My sister had the misfortune to carpool with me the hour and half it takes to get to the resort called Tan~Tara where the event was held. I was thinking if I could not ride down with me, I would; Because I so worn out and stressed out that I was sick of myself. You know what I am talking about when you wish you could take a vacation from yourself, I wished I didn't have to carpool with me. The drive was especially interesting because the elements were conspiring against me as storms were rolling in, the skies were very dark and extremely high winds kept buffeting the car. I just felt like another thing was going wrong and it was adding to my negative attitude. I was worried some ladies might be deterred from coming with the weather the way it was or someone might get in an accident. So I prayed that both would not happen and that the Lord would keep everyone safe and that they would be in a better mood than me.
The terrain to the resort has lots of little hills and after popping over one, I was suddenly struck by the beauty in the distant sky up ahead. There was a large opening in the dark cloud cover and tons a big fat rays of golden sunlight were pouring down. I got so excited and pointed it out to my sister and said, “Maybe all those rays are shining down right now on the resort where we are going. Maybe God is just pouring down His blessings on it preparing it for this weekend!” I was so uplifted at just the sight of it. Then my compilation CD switched to a new song whose lyrics were “your love is everywhere, your love is everywhere.”
Yes, His love is everywhere! The sun was shining everywhere above the thick cloud cover, just because I didn't see it shining down all over didn't mean it wasn't there. I just didn't have the ability to see it, from where I was. The break in the clouds made the streaming sunlight breathtakingly beautiful; whereas if it was just an ordinary sunny day I wouldn't have even thought about the sun, its rays or even appreciated its beauty. I would have taken for granted the dazzling orb's light and all its varied abilities. Much like God's love.
God's love is everywhere, He is everywhere regardless of whether or not we sense it or see it, His love is everywhere. When the clouds and times in our lives are darkest and His love and support bursts through and comforts us it is all the more dramatic and breathtaking. But on any given day, no matter cloudy or sunny, rainy or snowy the sun is still shinning above the cloud cover. The sun is constant, it doesn't change, it is always shining blindingly bright giving light and life to all.
I remember once taking off down the runway in a plane on a very cloudy and dreary day. The plane climbed and climbed blurring through the clouds until suddenly we burst through them and it was a glorious day with brilliant blue skies and a carpet of white and gray clouds underneath us. On the ground it was a miserable day but once you soared past the layer of clouds it was a totally different world in which the storm clouds underneath became beautiful and no longer oppressive. The contrast was so extreme, it was the same day and only feet and seconds made all the difference in what I saw and felt about the day.
Lord, please reveal to us your ever constant presence, let Your light shine to us and through us. Please continue to comfort us through our dark and cloudy days. Please give us a new perspective and take us higher in You to see and experience new things in You. Let us always bask in Your ever present love.
Psalm 44:3 “ It was not by their sword that they won the land, nor did their arm bring them victory; it was your right hand, your arm, and the light of your face, for you loved them. You are my King and my God, who decrees victories for Jacob. Through you we push back our enemies; through your name we trample our foes. I do not trust in my bow, my sword does not bring me victory; but you give us victory over our enemies, you put our adversaries to shame. In God we make our boast all day long, and we will praise your name forever.”
Psalm 109:21 & 26 “But you, O Sovereign LORD, deal well with me for your name's sake; out of the goodness of your love, deliver me. Help me, O LORD my God; save me in accordance with your love.
Heaven helped me 6/5/08
Love Always,
A*
Divine Appointments
As I shared with many of you previously about feeling like I don't have as many divine appointments like I constantly had in Lakeland, as usual the Lord set me straight. Yesterday before I went to KC, my aunt was running late so I decided to run to Walgreens. When I reached the checkout I joked to the cashier that everything I was purchasing had a coupon. First thing she rang up was 6 boxes of cereal (and yes three of them were Fiber One and no, I haven't run out yet). She said that they were all different prices and the coupon wouldn't work on them. So I said I am sorry never mind then on those I don't want to buy them.
As she was ringing them back up to void them off my receipt, an older woman (70+) behind me said, "I would like to buy those for you, if you would let me." I was so surprised and touched by her sweetness and said, "That is soooo sweet of you but that's okay, thank you anyway." Then I kept chatting with her, asking her name etc...I couldn't pronounce it but she couldn't pronounce mine either so we were good. Bells were ringing in my head as to...
"Hello...Divine appointment here, you aren't in a bad mood in line at the DMV anymore...you can do this."
So I took my purchases out to my car and waited for her to come out and then I chased her down in the parking lot. (Literally that little lady could move, I had to run to catch up with her). I tried to butcher her name as I dashed up and then just sputtered out, "Is there anything I can pray with you about?" She looked at me and smiled and said, "Well, I guess good health." I don't think she was expecting me to do it right then and there and my whole shutting my eyes technique when I pray really comes in handy because then I don't see the surprise or shock in people's eyes, which would totally distract me.
So I reached out and put my hand on her arm, bowed my head and squeezed shut my eyes and went for it. I prayed for good health and that the Lord would bless her, etc. I opened my eyes as I was finishing and saw that she was smiling and had her head bowed too. I said, "Thank you again for offering to buy my cereal that was really nice, hope you have a great day." I bounced off feeling all proud of myself that I went for it and did it..(never a good sign, pride cometh before a fall).
I got into my car and felt like something was in my nose so I flipped down the mirror. Sure enough, bat in the cave! Big bat in the cave! I thought the poor little lady probably had her head bowed and was smiling because she was trying to dodge large debris from falling out of my nose.
Be careful what you pray about because after reading about King David being willing to make a fool of himself for the Lord, I told Him I was willing to do the same...Watch out the Lord hears your prayers and answers them all the time. Trust me, this fool knows it to be true! Lord I am still willing to be a fool for you any day, please just let me be an effective servant ready and willing to do your promptings. Hope you have a blessed and bat free day!
Heaven helped me 11/22/08
Love Always A*
5/22/08
As she was ringing them back up to void them off my receipt, an older woman (70+) behind me said, "I would like to buy those for you, if you would let me." I was so surprised and touched by her sweetness and said, "That is soooo sweet of you but that's okay, thank you anyway." Then I kept chatting with her, asking her name etc...I couldn't pronounce it but she couldn't pronounce mine either so we were good. Bells were ringing in my head as to...
"Hello...Divine appointment here, you aren't in a bad mood in line at the DMV anymore...you can do this."
So I took my purchases out to my car and waited for her to come out and then I chased her down in the parking lot. (Literally that little lady could move, I had to run to catch up with her). I tried to butcher her name as I dashed up and then just sputtered out, "Is there anything I can pray with you about?" She looked at me and smiled and said, "Well, I guess good health." I don't think she was expecting me to do it right then and there and my whole shutting my eyes technique when I pray really comes in handy because then I don't see the surprise or shock in people's eyes, which would totally distract me.
So I reached out and put my hand on her arm, bowed my head and squeezed shut my eyes and went for it. I prayed for good health and that the Lord would bless her, etc. I opened my eyes as I was finishing and saw that she was smiling and had her head bowed too. I said, "Thank you again for offering to buy my cereal that was really nice, hope you have a great day." I bounced off feeling all proud of myself that I went for it and did it..(never a good sign, pride cometh before a fall).
I got into my car and felt like something was in my nose so I flipped down the mirror. Sure enough, bat in the cave! Big bat in the cave! I thought the poor little lady probably had her head bowed and was smiling because she was trying to dodge large debris from falling out of my nose.
Be careful what you pray about because after reading about King David being willing to make a fool of himself for the Lord, I told Him I was willing to do the same...Watch out the Lord hears your prayers and answers them all the time. Trust me, this fool knows it to be true! Lord I am still willing to be a fool for you any day, please just let me be an effective servant ready and willing to do your promptings. Hope you have a blessed and bat free day!
Heaven helped me 11/22/08
Love Always A*
5/22/08
Fiber One
"Let not soft slumber close your eyes,
Before you've collected thrice
The train of action through the day!
Where have my feet choose out their way?
What have I learnt, where'er I've been,
From all I've heard, from all I've seen?
What have I more that's worth the knowing?
What have I done that's worth doing?
What have I sought that I should shun?
What duty have I left undone,
Or into what new follies run?
These self-inquiries are the road
That leads to virtue and to God." --Isaac Watts: Self Examination
Fiber One
So I like Fiber One Cereal and it so happens to be quite expensive around $4.87 or so I think, I rarely buy it full price. I usually wait till it is on sale and then stock up. In the Sunday paper it
announced it was on sale 3 for $7 at Walgreens so I went that very day to stock up. Make your guess now as to how many I ended up buying. Okay remember it. I went to the downtown location and was very dismayed to find that they did not have any in stock after asking the employee (kinda an embarrassing thing to ask if it is in stock and then show extreme disappointment that it is out of stock, she looked at me like I had issues, uuhh understandably, I might add)
The next day I went to the one near my house on Nifong and they had two boxes on the shelf and then I asked an employee if they had any more in the back. The good looking guy was all giggles and said "Yeah we have a lot in the back how much do you want...?" I kinda stammered around and said "Umm, I guess I don't know really." So he walked into the back of the store smirking and laughing. He came back holding a box all smiles and said "Well this is all we have-- ten boxes. You want to grab a couple out...?" I stood there totally red while another employee was looking on with obvious amusement.
I didn't know what to do or how many to get and I looked imploringly at him and said "Uh, how many do you think I should get?" He said, "I don't know, how much do you like it?" It was all they could do not to laugh completely in my face. I said "Well maybe I should get 9, huh?"
They were shocked. "9, really?" "Well, yes and you could put the other 3 on the shelves so that other customers could buy them because you don't have any stock out right now." Since I currently had the two boxes that were previously on the shelf in my basket.
They think I am insane that I am suggesting purchasing 9 boxes of Fiber cereal. I must have serious blockage in my bowels and my brains but at least I am a considerate consumer. As I am following him down the aisle so that he can put 3 boxes up on the shelf I change my mind and say, "Oh heck I will just take the whole box, never mind, just give me all 12!"
"Really" the cute guy is trying so hard not to laugh, he is having so much fun. I can just see they can't wait for me to leave so they can talk about this, the crazy chick buying them out of all their Fiber One cereal. "Yes, really just give me the whole box, all twelve."
So my polite little helper ever so sweetly takes the two boxes out of my basket and squeezes them into the big box and a cart it and my red face to the check out. Thankfully nobody was in line to comment on my love of Fiber One and I made some excuse to the check out girl about how it was great in salads and on yogurt, which is true, though I never actually do this. So the point of this, Oh so embarrassing story, as I was lying in bed thinking about my shopping addiction and my problem with "stocking up", I thought about this, what if Jesus came back tomorrow? Why did I buy 12 boxes of Fiber One if I want to live like Jesus is coming tomorrow? I don't think I will need Fiber One in heaven. So if I am trying to bring heaven to earth do I really need all this fiber?
Luke 1:19-21 “And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry. But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?' This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God."
Heaven helped me May 2008
Love Always,
A*
Before you've collected thrice
The train of action through the day!
Where have my feet choose out their way?
What have I learnt, where'er I've been,
From all I've heard, from all I've seen?
What have I more that's worth the knowing?
What have I done that's worth doing?
What have I sought that I should shun?
What duty have I left undone,
Or into what new follies run?
These self-inquiries are the road
That leads to virtue and to God." --Isaac Watts: Self Examination
Fiber One
So I like Fiber One Cereal and it so happens to be quite expensive around $4.87 or so I think, I rarely buy it full price. I usually wait till it is on sale and then stock up. In the Sunday paper it
announced it was on sale 3 for $7 at Walgreens so I went that very day to stock up. Make your guess now as to how many I ended up buying. Okay remember it. I went to the downtown location and was very dismayed to find that they did not have any in stock after asking the employee (kinda an embarrassing thing to ask if it is in stock and then show extreme disappointment that it is out of stock, she looked at me like I had issues, uuhh understandably, I might add)
The next day I went to the one near my house on Nifong and they had two boxes on the shelf and then I asked an employee if they had any more in the back. The good looking guy was all giggles and said "Yeah we have a lot in the back how much do you want...?" I kinda stammered around and said "Umm, I guess I don't know really." So he walked into the back of the store smirking and laughing. He came back holding a box all smiles and said "Well this is all we have-- ten boxes. You want to grab a couple out...?" I stood there totally red while another employee was looking on with obvious amusement.
I didn't know what to do or how many to get and I looked imploringly at him and said "Uh, how many do you think I should get?" He said, "I don't know, how much do you like it?" It was all they could do not to laugh completely in my face. I said "Well maybe I should get 9, huh?"
They were shocked. "9, really?" "Well, yes and you could put the other 3 on the shelves so that other customers could buy them because you don't have any stock out right now." Since I currently had the two boxes that were previously on the shelf in my basket.
They think I am insane that I am suggesting purchasing 9 boxes of Fiber cereal. I must have serious blockage in my bowels and my brains but at least I am a considerate consumer. As I am following him down the aisle so that he can put 3 boxes up on the shelf I change my mind and say, "Oh heck I will just take the whole box, never mind, just give me all 12!"
"Really" the cute guy is trying so hard not to laugh, he is having so much fun. I can just see they can't wait for me to leave so they can talk about this, the crazy chick buying them out of all their Fiber One cereal. "Yes, really just give me the whole box, all twelve."
So my polite little helper ever so sweetly takes the two boxes out of my basket and squeezes them into the big box and a cart it and my red face to the check out. Thankfully nobody was in line to comment on my love of Fiber One and I made some excuse to the check out girl about how it was great in salads and on yogurt, which is true, though I never actually do this. So the point of this, Oh so embarrassing story, as I was lying in bed thinking about my shopping addiction and my problem with "stocking up", I thought about this, what if Jesus came back tomorrow? Why did I buy 12 boxes of Fiber One if I want to live like Jesus is coming tomorrow? I don't think I will need Fiber One in heaven. So if I am trying to bring heaven to earth do I really need all this fiber?
Luke 1:19-21 “And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry. But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?' This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God."
Heaven helped me May 2008
Love Always,
A*
Sea of people
After reading part of Phil Schaffer's Boston marathon race report which is a break down of what he is feeling at each mile:
Race Report (excerpt) from :graceman
Mile 4 -(Pace 7:15) - People are calling out my name because I taped it to my jersey. I give them a thumbs-up so as not to expend too much energy. It's helpful to hear your name called, but it's here that I realize I should have put Forrest instead of Phil. That would have really gotten the crowd going - Run Forrest Run!
Mile 9 -(Pace 7:12) - I ran faster this mile but I don't know why. We've been rounding a number of curves and I have been trying to look ahead and see which way they are turning so I can do the tangents. I really enjoy looking ahead and seeing a massive sea of people.
I wrote the following email to him.
So I started reading your marathon report and first off I LOVE your email address. So clever, witty and well, so many things come to mind...ask me sometime what the sign language sign is for grace it is really cool. But when I read this line from your marathon report it hit me like a ton of bricks and I want to write a whole bunch of stuff about it. ---"I really enjoy looking ahead and seeing a massive sea of people."
---I instantly stopped reading your email because I didn't want to sully the image and feeling that this one line was giving me. Instead I thought I should share it with you, now. Profound one liners are really having an affect on me, as of late. Dan Barraco tried to compliment me on being a good writer (I say tried because I didn't take it to well, but I am trying to now in my own way) and I guess it has opened me up to just going for it and sharing whatever I feel in writing, apparently exactly --when I feel it. So I will pray that the Lord will use it for His glory and good. I guess for one I should mention that when I was sitting in the dance performance on Friday night that I wrote this and I think it really goes along with exactly your line.
Lord, let this "Heaven on earth be the revival I'm looking for, I'm praying for, I have faith for, I have belief for! Let it be big, let it be huge, let it be monumental, let it change history, let it change the way we live our lives now and forever and our children ever after. Let it be another outpouring of your Holy Spirit that causes an awakening in our hearts, minds, and very souls so that we open our eyes to a new way of seeing how to live our day to day lives. So that we change, really change, not just for one day or two but for every day after, change our habits, change our hearts, change our minds, change our steps, change our very breaths, to live and walk out and work to bring Your heaven, Your kingdom, Your good, Your Works, Your Will, On earth as it is in Heaven!
So ...
"I really enjoy looking ahead and seeing a massive sea of people." I want to look ahead and see this massive sea of people doing THIS running to the Lord and in the Lord, and in His Will and to His will, and by His Word and in His Word. I want His Holy Spirit to be in their I-pod earphones, the sounds in their heads and in their hearts which they are hearing, listening to, singing and obeying. That it is the call of the Lord, His voice that is their musical motivator which keeps them running the race set before them. That the Lord picks them up when they are weary, He is their Gatorade station and goo stops along the mile markers. Members of the church are the voices in the crowd screaming your name cheering you on, some because they know and love you and some just because your name is on your jersey. I am one of them; And I am going hoarse with yelling for you to run the greatest race for His glory.
As I have said before, I can "conceive us walking out great works of God in our lives!"** We are, we can and we will, I know it, believe it and can't wait to see it!!!
**(this is a phrase Phil used in an awesome message)
Heaven helped me 5/3/2008
Love Always, A*
Here is what Audrey Barraco added on....
Thanks for sharing your inspirations from Holy Spirit. They so encourage me and make me more hungry for the glory of God. I immediately was reminded of Hebrews 11 where the writer chronicles some of the "heros of the faith" and their struggles and victories on their journey. He then goes into chapter 12:1,2 calling them the "great crowd of witnesses", and refers to our journey as a "race."
“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God”. Hebrew 12:1-2
I can just imagine all the saints who've made it to heaven as well as those still here below - witnesses - calling out my name, urging me on, handing me a cool drink, refreshing my body and soul when the sun is beating down on me and the wind tries to hold me back and every part of my body says - "what's the point, you don't have to do this, just quit running and take it easy."
Keep on listening to Holy Spirit's voice and sharing what He gives you because in doing that you are fulfilling some of what Hebrews 10:24,25 tells us to be doing “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.”
GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST!!!!!!
Love you.....Audrey
Heaven helped me and Audrey 5/3/2008
Love Always A*
Race Report (excerpt) from :graceman
Mile 4 -(Pace 7:15) - People are calling out my name because I taped it to my jersey. I give them a thumbs-up so as not to expend too much energy. It's helpful to hear your name called, but it's here that I realize I should have put Forrest instead of Phil. That would have really gotten the crowd going - Run Forrest Run!
Mile 9 -(Pace 7:12) - I ran faster this mile but I don't know why. We've been rounding a number of curves and I have been trying to look ahead and see which way they are turning so I can do the tangents. I really enjoy looking ahead and seeing a massive sea of people.
I wrote the following email to him.
So I started reading your marathon report and first off I LOVE your email address. So clever, witty and well, so many things come to mind...ask me sometime what the sign language sign is for grace it is really cool. But when I read this line from your marathon report it hit me like a ton of bricks and I want to write a whole bunch of stuff about it. ---"I really enjoy looking ahead and seeing a massive sea of people."
---I instantly stopped reading your email because I didn't want to sully the image and feeling that this one line was giving me. Instead I thought I should share it with you, now. Profound one liners are really having an affect on me, as of late. Dan Barraco tried to compliment me on being a good writer (I say tried because I didn't take it to well, but I am trying to now in my own way) and I guess it has opened me up to just going for it and sharing whatever I feel in writing, apparently exactly --when I feel it. So I will pray that the Lord will use it for His glory and good. I guess for one I should mention that when I was sitting in the dance performance on Friday night that I wrote this and I think it really goes along with exactly your line.
Lord, let this "Heaven on earth be the revival I'm looking for, I'm praying for, I have faith for, I have belief for! Let it be big, let it be huge, let it be monumental, let it change history, let it change the way we live our lives now and forever and our children ever after. Let it be another outpouring of your Holy Spirit that causes an awakening in our hearts, minds, and very souls so that we open our eyes to a new way of seeing how to live our day to day lives. So that we change, really change, not just for one day or two but for every day after, change our habits, change our hearts, change our minds, change our steps, change our very breaths, to live and walk out and work to bring Your heaven, Your kingdom, Your good, Your Works, Your Will, On earth as it is in Heaven!
So ...
"I really enjoy looking ahead and seeing a massive sea of people." I want to look ahead and see this massive sea of people doing THIS running to the Lord and in the Lord, and in His Will and to His will, and by His Word and in His Word. I want His Holy Spirit to be in their I-pod earphones, the sounds in their heads and in their hearts which they are hearing, listening to, singing and obeying. That it is the call of the Lord, His voice that is their musical motivator which keeps them running the race set before them. That the Lord picks them up when they are weary, He is their Gatorade station and goo stops along the mile markers. Members of the church are the voices in the crowd screaming your name cheering you on, some because they know and love you and some just because your name is on your jersey. I am one of them; And I am going hoarse with yelling for you to run the greatest race for His glory.
As I have said before, I can "conceive us walking out great works of God in our lives!"** We are, we can and we will, I know it, believe it and can't wait to see it!!!
**(this is a phrase Phil used in an awesome message)
Heaven helped me 5/3/2008
Love Always, A*
Here is what Audrey Barraco added on....
Thanks for sharing your inspirations from Holy Spirit. They so encourage me and make me more hungry for the glory of God. I immediately was reminded of Hebrews 11 where the writer chronicles some of the "heros of the faith" and their struggles and victories on their journey. He then goes into chapter 12:1,2 calling them the "great crowd of witnesses", and refers to our journey as a "race."
“Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God”. Hebrew 12:1-2
I can just imagine all the saints who've made it to heaven as well as those still here below - witnesses - calling out my name, urging me on, handing me a cool drink, refreshing my body and soul when the sun is beating down on me and the wind tries to hold me back and every part of my body says - "what's the point, you don't have to do this, just quit running and take it easy."
Keep on listening to Holy Spirit's voice and sharing what He gives you because in doing that you are fulfilling some of what Hebrews 10:24,25 tells us to be doing “And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.”
GLORY TO GOD IN THE HIGHEST!!!!!!
Love you.....Audrey
Heaven helped me and Audrey 5/3/2008
Love Always A*
Back to my roots
“Whoever will labor to get rid of self, to deny himself according to the instructions of Christ, strikes at once at the root of every evil, and finds the germ of every good.” --Francois de Salignac de La Mothe Fenelon
I have decided to go back to my roots, literally. I am going to stop highlighting, bleaching, dying—whatever you want to call it-- I am going to stop doing it to my hair and let it go back to it's au-naturale color. You know, the color God gave me and wants me to have. Yikes, you might be thinking, hello condemning, this is not to make anyone feel guilty about what you do to your hair that is between you, your maker and your stylist ;) This decision was reached after I was in Kansas City and my sister was holding her daughter Mia who was lunging at me smiling and grabbing for my hair. Now this in and of itself should make me want to continue to keep that blond hair blond because that is what she was grabbing for, keep my niece happy and hello, 13 month olds have excellent taste.
We were standing in the front of the church after the service was over and some guy watching this says, “She really likes your HIGHLIGHTED hair, huh.” I have zero memory of either my response or my sisters, I think because someone else instantly came up and started talking to us. Or because we both were in shock. I am not sure which. Also what kind of response would have been fitting.
~Perhaps some of these: "Yes, my niece has an eye for appreciating finely applied hydrogen-peroxide based highlighting agents to chemically treated hair, thank you for noticing and pointing it out."
~ Wow, not only are you an astute judge of my young niece's character and tastes you also have bluntly commented on the unrealistic coloring of my hair and I thank you. Or perhaps the simple response of ~.. Really, ya think.
Okay, okay, okay I know you are saying, aren't I over reacting here. It was a very little comment and he didn't speak in capital letters did he. But he did and or he did to me and I might point out....As soon as we got in the door from church and had unloaded the two little girls (which takes a bit of effort, etc) the first thing my sister turns to me and says is “So ummm that guy you know that commented on your HIGHLIGHTED hair, he has social problems and is, you know socially awkward and stuff...”
Job 6:25 “ How painful are honest words! But what do your arguments prove?”
Interesting, interesting, interesting, things that make you go hmmm. If socially awkward means you point out the obvious and are blunt... then yes I do know what you mean. All the poor guy did was say the truth, the truth is- I do have highlighted hair.
John 8:32 “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
Someone said when I told them I was not going to dye my hair anymore that they didn't even know what the real color of their hair was anymore because they had been dying it for so many years. And I had realized that the same was true of me which is why I wanted to stop. I had been changing it and covering it up for so long that I didn't even know what it was anymore.
Have you lied to yourself for so long about something or someone that you don't even know what the truth is anymore? Do you need to go back to your roots to find out what your real color is buried underneath all that bleach? Lord help me to be real with you and go back to all my roots to get to the heart of all the things I really need to give to you and change today so that I can be a happier, healthier Christian!
Proverbs 24 “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.”
Heaven helped me 5/22/08
Love Always,
A*
I have decided to go back to my roots, literally. I am going to stop highlighting, bleaching, dying—whatever you want to call it-- I am going to stop doing it to my hair and let it go back to it's au-naturale color. You know, the color God gave me and wants me to have. Yikes, you might be thinking, hello condemning, this is not to make anyone feel guilty about what you do to your hair that is between you, your maker and your stylist ;) This decision was reached after I was in Kansas City and my sister was holding her daughter Mia who was lunging at me smiling and grabbing for my hair. Now this in and of itself should make me want to continue to keep that blond hair blond because that is what she was grabbing for, keep my niece happy and hello, 13 month olds have excellent taste.
We were standing in the front of the church after the service was over and some guy watching this says, “She really likes your HIGHLIGHTED hair, huh.” I have zero memory of either my response or my sisters, I think because someone else instantly came up and started talking to us. Or because we both were in shock. I am not sure which. Also what kind of response would have been fitting.
~Perhaps some of these: "Yes, my niece has an eye for appreciating finely applied hydrogen-peroxide based highlighting agents to chemically treated hair, thank you for noticing and pointing it out."
~ Wow, not only are you an astute judge of my young niece's character and tastes you also have bluntly commented on the unrealistic coloring of my hair and I thank you. Or perhaps the simple response of ~.. Really, ya think.
Okay, okay, okay I know you are saying, aren't I over reacting here. It was a very little comment and he didn't speak in capital letters did he. But he did and or he did to me and I might point out....As soon as we got in the door from church and had unloaded the two little girls (which takes a bit of effort, etc) the first thing my sister turns to me and says is “So ummm that guy you know that commented on your HIGHLIGHTED hair, he has social problems and is, you know socially awkward and stuff...”
Job 6:25 “ How painful are honest words! But what do your arguments prove?”
Interesting, interesting, interesting, things that make you go hmmm. If socially awkward means you point out the obvious and are blunt... then yes I do know what you mean. All the poor guy did was say the truth, the truth is- I do have highlighted hair.
John 8:32 “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
Someone said when I told them I was not going to dye my hair anymore that they didn't even know what the real color of their hair was anymore because they had been dying it for so many years. And I had realized that the same was true of me which is why I wanted to stop. I had been changing it and covering it up for so long that I didn't even know what it was anymore.
Have you lied to yourself for so long about something or someone that you don't even know what the truth is anymore? Do you need to go back to your roots to find out what your real color is buried underneath all that bleach? Lord help me to be real with you and go back to all my roots to get to the heart of all the things I really need to give to you and change today so that I can be a happier, healthier Christian!
Proverbs 24 “An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.”
Heaven helped me 5/22/08
Love Always,
A*
Too much faith in faith
Sometimes nothing is better for me than truly testing my faith by spending time with non-believers who knew me at a time when I was not walking the walk, talking the talk or for that matter behaving at all like a daughter of Christ. This past weekend I was attending the wedding of a long time friend from LA and I had prayed that the Lord could use me and help me be a good representative for Him. If I want to be an ambassador for Jesus I need to look and act the part and not fall back into all my old bad habits. It struck me as, oh so funny, that I still found myself hanging out by the beer truck with all the boys but I wasn't guzzling the bubbly and wasn't running my mouth about inappropriate subjects. (I was formerly in love with said beer truck since it is a refrigerated trailer with about eight different beer taps on the outside and an endless supply of booze. It is also better for the environment because there is less waste since you don't have all the bottles and cans being used and or especially when you place your face underneath the tap and pour directly in your mouth...not that I have ever done that...)
What I found really encouraging was that the boys still considered me one of them and were divulging their secrets as usual, commenting to one another, we can tell her because she is one of us. I was standing there feeling like a completely new person in my mind, sober, sane, and not foul mouthed with lascivious talk. Until I started talking they didn't exactly notice the change but when I told them I had stopped drinking for good and taken a vow of celibacy, I was pleasantly surprised at their response. They kept congratulating me and saying they were proud of me, etc. What I found most encouraging was that the next morning I had more than one person say that they were starting to think that maybe they should stop drinking and they weren't just saying that because they had a horrible hangover.
My favorite conversation took place with a guy I barely know whom I have hung out with maybe two or three times in San Diego and La. I doubt we have ever really had a conversation between just the two of us since we have been around each other in large groups and he always had a girlfriend. (I tend to not strike up conversations with guys who have girlfriends it just makes life easier with less drama.) It was probably around midnight and someone had brilliantly deduced that a second meal would be appropriate late at night since the wedding dinner took place around five.
We were standing around the hot from the oven Shakespeare's pizza and he asked me how I was doing. I think I responded with, “Great really, really, great actually, I am happier than I have ever been in my life!” He smiled and said jokingly, “Oh, what did you find God or something?” I excitedly responded, “Yes, exactly that!” I can't remember if he asked me if I was seeing someone or I just launched into my whole vow of celibacy spiel but either way I started explaining it. I told him how it kinda even blows my mind that I have decided if I ever were to get married again that I want to wait until after marriage to consummate it. And that while I consider sex an important aspect of a relationship and had once said to my virgin sister before her marriage (which scandalized her) “Don't you want to test drive the car before you buy it?” I came to the conclusion if God has someone planned for me, He will make us compatible in every way. And that if I was really putting my trust and faith in God I would believe that He has picked the right person for me in all aspects.
His response was so classic, “Don't you think there might be something wrong with putting too much faith in faith?” Wow, I jumped all over that. There is no such thing as putting too much faith in God, as putting too much trust in the Big Guy upstairs. Now I am not talking about asking God to feed you with ravens like Elijah and going out on a camping trip with no food. I am talking about having the faith that God always wants ultimately good things for you. Knowing and believing that can only be a good thing, it can help you see things in a different perspective. For instance I fell quite hard the other day in a restaurant on my way to the bathroom. I then had to stand up and talk to someone I was going to completely avoid but since I fell right in front of their table, I decided to stand there extra red faced and chat. (It was a slippery stained concrete incline, I had on platform sandals, and I'm a spaz)
Now I could assess that situation as horrible. Not only did I fall in front of 30+ people I had to have an even more humiliating conversation with someone from P.S. whom I would rather forget, since they represented all things sordid about my painted past. (P.S.=Pre-Surrender, as in before I wholly surrendered to Christ and changed my wicked ways) How is God going to use this? I am not really sure but I have faith that even though I fell flat on my face that He will. Through my disgrace He will give me grace. Through my ungracefulness He will give me poise under pressure in the future.
Maybe the Lord used it because I told all the people at the table I was sitting at the hilarious story behind the guy (it was the 18 yr old for anyone familiar with that story) and they needed to hear a little bit about me P.S. Since many of them have only known me A.S. (after surrender, uhh post surrender still has the same initials) I don't know how or why the Lord might use it but I have faith that whatever situation arises He can use it. He can turn my trash into someone else's treasure. In an inner healing class I attended they suggested that you let the Holy Spirit guide you to painful experiences in your past and then ask the Lord for healing. I envisioned Jesus, white robe and all carrying a bunch of black trash bags and taking them out to the curb. I kept asking Jesus to take out my trash. I thought about it later and thought often people go and pick up other peoples discarded stuff off the curb because it is desirable to them. So hopefully my trash can turn into other people's treasure.
What I found really encouraging was that the boys still considered me one of them and were divulging their secrets as usual, commenting to one another, we can tell her because she is one of us. I was standing there feeling like a completely new person in my mind, sober, sane, and not foul mouthed with lascivious talk. Until I started talking they didn't exactly notice the change but when I told them I had stopped drinking for good and taken a vow of celibacy, I was pleasantly surprised at their response. They kept congratulating me and saying they were proud of me, etc. What I found most encouraging was that the next morning I had more than one person say that they were starting to think that maybe they should stop drinking and they weren't just saying that because they had a horrible hangover.
My favorite conversation took place with a guy I barely know whom I have hung out with maybe two or three times in San Diego and La. I doubt we have ever really had a conversation between just the two of us since we have been around each other in large groups and he always had a girlfriend. (I tend to not strike up conversations with guys who have girlfriends it just makes life easier with less drama.) It was probably around midnight and someone had brilliantly deduced that a second meal would be appropriate late at night since the wedding dinner took place around five.
We were standing around the hot from the oven Shakespeare's pizza and he asked me how I was doing. I think I responded with, “Great really, really, great actually, I am happier than I have ever been in my life!” He smiled and said jokingly, “Oh, what did you find God or something?” I excitedly responded, “Yes, exactly that!” I can't remember if he asked me if I was seeing someone or I just launched into my whole vow of celibacy spiel but either way I started explaining it. I told him how it kinda even blows my mind that I have decided if I ever were to get married again that I want to wait until after marriage to consummate it. And that while I consider sex an important aspect of a relationship and had once said to my virgin sister before her marriage (which scandalized her) “Don't you want to test drive the car before you buy it?” I came to the conclusion if God has someone planned for me, He will make us compatible in every way. And that if I was really putting my trust and faith in God I would believe that He has picked the right person for me in all aspects.
His response was so classic, “Don't you think there might be something wrong with putting too much faith in faith?” Wow, I jumped all over that. There is no such thing as putting too much faith in God, as putting too much trust in the Big Guy upstairs. Now I am not talking about asking God to feed you with ravens like Elijah and going out on a camping trip with no food. I am talking about having the faith that God always wants ultimately good things for you. Knowing and believing that can only be a good thing, it can help you see things in a different perspective. For instance I fell quite hard the other day in a restaurant on my way to the bathroom. I then had to stand up and talk to someone I was going to completely avoid but since I fell right in front of their table, I decided to stand there extra red faced and chat. (It was a slippery stained concrete incline, I had on platform sandals, and I'm a spaz)
Now I could assess that situation as horrible. Not only did I fall in front of 30+ people I had to have an even more humiliating conversation with someone from P.S. whom I would rather forget, since they represented all things sordid about my painted past. (P.S.=Pre-Surrender, as in before I wholly surrendered to Christ and changed my wicked ways) How is God going to use this? I am not really sure but I have faith that even though I fell flat on my face that He will. Through my disgrace He will give me grace. Through my ungracefulness He will give me poise under pressure in the future.
Maybe the Lord used it because I told all the people at the table I was sitting at the hilarious story behind the guy (it was the 18 yr old for anyone familiar with that story) and they needed to hear a little bit about me P.S. Since many of them have only known me A.S. (after surrender, uhh post surrender still has the same initials) I don't know how or why the Lord might use it but I have faith that whatever situation arises He can use it. He can turn my trash into someone else's treasure. In an inner healing class I attended they suggested that you let the Holy Spirit guide you to painful experiences in your past and then ask the Lord for healing. I envisioned Jesus, white robe and all carrying a bunch of black trash bags and taking them out to the curb. I kept asking Jesus to take out my trash. I thought about it later and thought often people go and pick up other peoples discarded stuff off the curb because it is desirable to them. So hopefully my trash can turn into other people's treasure.
Lord please use the garbage and trash in my past to help others in their struggles. Let me leave it behind and forgive myself and trust that you can use it for Your good. Please build up our faith in all things, dear Lord.
Colossians 3:5-10 “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”
(3:12-15) “Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.” (3:17) “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” Amen to that!
Heaven helped me 5/31/08
Love Always,
A*
Moss
As always, as usual, as the ever constant norm for me, I was arriving LATE last night to meet up with a group of people to pre-pray before the Friday night service at church. As I was hurriedly emerging from my car and walking across the parking lot something green caught my eye. Where the black asphalt thickly overlaps the white concrete curb there was bright green moss growing on the edge of the inky asphalt. I stopped and ewww and ahhhh with delight and spied that all along this edge the lovely little mounds of moss grew. This particular part of the parking lot was shaded by a row of trees planted in the median. I wondered for a moment what all ideal climatic conditions must have occurred to let this little crop of vivid green lushness flourish on the black rocky pavement.
I then scooted off and rushed into the church only to realize I had somehow in my hustle left behind my beloved water bottle. I waited until we were done praying and my friend Beth accompanied me out to the parking lot to retrieve my necessary H2O. When I pointed out to her the moss she responded with delight just as I had. She confessed that when she had tried to grow moss in her house she couldn't get it to thrive or survive. I inquired had she misted it often, since I know that many delicate and high maintenance plants require oh, so many puffs of aqua from the ole' spray bottle. She said she misted away and coaxed and cajoled but the moss did not deign to live.
I thought to myself, Wow, I picked the perfect person to point out the prettiness of the moss because only someone who has actually tried to grow this, could truly appreciate what a wonder it was to see it growing there in the un-likeliest of places. Nobody was cultivating this glowing, green softness with loving care, nobody other than the Lord was providing it all the necessities to facilitate its life sprouting out of the tary rocks of the blacktop.
Sometimes it only is the Lord that is sustaining our lives, sometimes only He can provide us the nutrients, and mist our very souls with His love that gives us life. And it can be in the most obscure and bizarre places that the Lord can reveal His glory to us. I mean seriously, I saw it in bright green moss. Much later in the evening when I was finally leaving the church and I was walking back to my car with Mr. B, I said, “Oh, there is some moss growing on the pavement...” and before I could finish my sentence, He said, “I don't care about trying to see some moss right now, it's late.” I wasn't planning on showing it to him exactly because at that time of night the parking lots amber lighting would not have been conducive to full appreciation of the other worldly color of the green growth. But I didn't even finish my sentence and I realized that sometimes people don't even want to really see God's hand in things, sometimes it's to late, I'm to tired, I don't care or I don't feel like it...get in the way of even trying to see the miracles of the Lord's goodness all around us.
Isaiah 44:23 “Sing for joy, O heavens, for the LORD has done this; shout aloud, O earth beneath. Burst into song, you mountains, you forests and all your trees, for the LORD has redeemed Jacob, he displays his glory in Israel.”
So Lord we ask that you reveal to us today and everyday your goodness, love and the miracles that you do through us and in us and all around us. Thank you for them and thank you for misting this moss here and giving me life and love especially in the un-likely places of my heart. Let nothing stop your glory from growing on me and in me, to me and through me. Thank you for all that you are and will be forever.
Heaven helped me on 5/17/08
I then scooted off and rushed into the church only to realize I had somehow in my hustle left behind my beloved water bottle. I waited until we were done praying and my friend Beth accompanied me out to the parking lot to retrieve my necessary H2O. When I pointed out to her the moss she responded with delight just as I had. She confessed that when she had tried to grow moss in her house she couldn't get it to thrive or survive. I inquired had she misted it often, since I know that many delicate and high maintenance plants require oh, so many puffs of aqua from the ole' spray bottle. She said she misted away and coaxed and cajoled but the moss did not deign to live.
I thought to myself, Wow, I picked the perfect person to point out the prettiness of the moss because only someone who has actually tried to grow this, could truly appreciate what a wonder it was to see it growing there in the un-likeliest of places. Nobody was cultivating this glowing, green softness with loving care, nobody other than the Lord was providing it all the necessities to facilitate its life sprouting out of the tary rocks of the blacktop.
Sometimes it only is the Lord that is sustaining our lives, sometimes only He can provide us the nutrients, and mist our very souls with His love that gives us life. And it can be in the most obscure and bizarre places that the Lord can reveal His glory to us. I mean seriously, I saw it in bright green moss. Much later in the evening when I was finally leaving the church and I was walking back to my car with Mr. B, I said, “Oh, there is some moss growing on the pavement...” and before I could finish my sentence, He said, “I don't care about trying to see some moss right now, it's late.” I wasn't planning on showing it to him exactly because at that time of night the parking lots amber lighting would not have been conducive to full appreciation of the other worldly color of the green growth. But I didn't even finish my sentence and I realized that sometimes people don't even want to really see God's hand in things, sometimes it's to late, I'm to tired, I don't care or I don't feel like it...get in the way of even trying to see the miracles of the Lord's goodness all around us.
Isaiah 44:23 “Sing for joy, O heavens, for the LORD has done this; shout aloud, O earth beneath. Burst into song, you mountains, you forests and all your trees, for the LORD has redeemed Jacob, he displays his glory in Israel.”
So Lord we ask that you reveal to us today and everyday your goodness, love and the miracles that you do through us and in us and all around us. Thank you for them and thank you for misting this moss here and giving me life and love especially in the un-likely places of my heart. Let nothing stop your glory from growing on me and in me, to me and through me. Thank you for all that you are and will be forever.
Heaven helped me on 5/17/08
Friday, November 14, 2008
Sparkle
~Proverbs 31:30 “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” ~
What I am sure will be a constant and ongoing battle for me with my pride and vanity led me to decide to give up wearing makeup for a week. Basically I was praying in church for the Lord to help me with my vanity and the suggestion was placed in my mind to go on a makeup fast. I also told myself that I could not tell anyone why I was not wearing makeup, offer no excuses nor could I brag afterwards about it. (so hopefully this doesn't constitute as such) What astounded me most about it was not the embarrassment but more how I wanted to constantly give excuses or explain to people why I looked so lousy. "Hey, the monk look is in don't you know, I have a hair shirt on order from Saks."(Goggle monks if you don't get this reference) Instead, I had to bite my tongue completely and in a nonchalant way say, "Yeah, I don't have any makeup on." I am sure you males can't relate, you don't have something that you feel completely naked and exposed without, do you? Or do you?
A male friend said when he started going bald it was his hat, and he didn't want to take that thing off for dear life and expose to the world that he was losing his precious hair. A lot of women I know don't need a drop of makeup and honestly up until about a year ago I didn't feel I did either but as my mother, Oh so loving pointed out to me one day: "Honey you're getting old and you need to wear makeup now! Everything and I mean everything falls apart at thirty!" Thanks Mom. I think my response and I kid you not was, "I hoped nobody else had noticed,-- Oh no, wait, that was after she informed me I needed to get a new kind of makeup because "I ALWAYS look greasy."
If you want an honest and forthright appraisal of –anything, look no further than my sainted mother, she will tell it to you straight and won't spare your feelings or mince words. I appreciate it on some levels. But between my father who never lies and my mother, my pregnant sister keeps asking for trouble pestering everyone with the whole question of, "Do I look bigger?" A word to the wise,be careful what you ask.
So yes, in response to your unspoken question both my parents pointed out rather, umm, pointedly that I was not wearing any makeup and I didn't let it go any further than that. Most other, (I'll refrain from using the word normal here), people didn't pry to hard as to why I didn't have makeup on. Some people just looked at me for a while as if they couldn't quite figure out what was "wrong" and those were the ones I had the hardest time keeping my mouth shut around. It was harder with them because I couldn't even say I didn't have makeup on, I could say nothing; I couldn't address something they didn't bring up. I couldn't suddenly pipe up, "Stop looking at me that way, I don't have any makeup on okay, I am trying to work on my vanity and it is revealing to me, how I put way to much importance on my looks.
Thank you for making me all the more aware of the gigantic zit I nicknamed Vesuvius which is due to erupt in t-minus and counting. You might want to watch out and take a step back. Sorry I have had to make you so painfully aware of it due to my abstaining from all types of cover up. -- It's called cover up for a reason it's supposed to cover up all of our flaws. And in covering up your flaws it makes you feel more confident, just as the lack there of made me feel so self-conscious and insecure.
I became afraid to look people in the eye and felt somehow if I didn't look at them closely then they wouldn't look at me closely. Or at least that is what I hoped. I realized how ridiculous it was that I felt less of a person merely because I was lacking some bat guana (bat feces is the main ingredient in most mascaras) and mica (powder) on my face. The word mascara derives from the Italian maschera which means "mask." My makeup was a mask and I felt prettier hiding behind it.
While enjoying the lovely April evening driving home the other night, I noticed that someone still had up in their Christmas tree lights. The lights were not turned on but I saw them faintly sparkling in the moonlight wrapped all around the limbs and the trunk of an outdoor deciduous tree. I thought poor little tree, it needs to push out its buds and leaves and will be inhibited by the wires and lights constricting it's ability to properly grow in this, Oh, so essential time of spring! In the wintertime when the tree was barren and leafless the lights ornamented it nicely all lit up and lovely. But now that it is springtime it would be an embarrassment to announce that you haven't taken them down, so instead the lights are hampering and hurting the tree rather than highlighting it.
Why does this relate? I think I let my dependence, the importance I placed or even the sense of security I felt when wearing makeup inhibit my growth as a person. And it was only in taking it off for a week that I discovered what all I was really covering up, not just the skin, not just the flaws of flesh, but I revealed the weakness in the walls of my own sense of self. The Lord loves me in Covergirl makeup or none. I need to love my reflection with my mascara mask in place or running in rivulets down my tear stained cheeks. I laughed the Sunday after I started wearing it again that God wasn't ready for me to start shlacking it back on because He was chipping it right back off again by having me cry all my clown face off in church. (Have no fear, they were all tears of joy.)
1 Peter 1:3-5 “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.”
As an advertising refrain for a brand of makeup poses, “maybe she's born with it, maybe it Maybelline”, or maybe, just maybe it is so much more than that. Maybe she is born with it, maybe it is Maybelline, and maybe the Lord has blessed her with a beauty that shines out of her because she finally knows that the Lord loves her no matter what, tear stained, volcanic zits, or Tammy Faye eyelashes.
~Psalm 139:13-18 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.”
Just like the Christmas tree lights I like my makeup to sparkle and highlight my attributes but I know that my real beauty only comes from the Lord from what He created in me, what He gave me in my DNA and from the transformation He is slowly but surely doing in me day by day.
Lord, help us to strip away whatever might be covering up and inhibiting our growth in You. Let us focus on the things of you and shed the vanities of this world and instead focus on sparkling for Your Glory Alone!
Heaven Helped Me 5/5/08
Love Always,
A*
What I am sure will be a constant and ongoing battle for me with my pride and vanity led me to decide to give up wearing makeup for a week. Basically I was praying in church for the Lord to help me with my vanity and the suggestion was placed in my mind to go on a makeup fast. I also told myself that I could not tell anyone why I was not wearing makeup, offer no excuses nor could I brag afterwards about it. (so hopefully this doesn't constitute as such) What astounded me most about it was not the embarrassment but more how I wanted to constantly give excuses or explain to people why I looked so lousy. "Hey, the monk look is in don't you know, I have a hair shirt on order from Saks."(Goggle monks if you don't get this reference) Instead, I had to bite my tongue completely and in a nonchalant way say, "Yeah, I don't have any makeup on." I am sure you males can't relate, you don't have something that you feel completely naked and exposed without, do you? Or do you?
A male friend said when he started going bald it was his hat, and he didn't want to take that thing off for dear life and expose to the world that he was losing his precious hair. A lot of women I know don't need a drop of makeup and honestly up until about a year ago I didn't feel I did either but as my mother, Oh so loving pointed out to me one day: "Honey you're getting old and you need to wear makeup now! Everything and I mean everything falls apart at thirty!" Thanks Mom. I think my response and I kid you not was, "I hoped nobody else had noticed,-- Oh no, wait, that was after she informed me I needed to get a new kind of makeup because "I ALWAYS look greasy."
If you want an honest and forthright appraisal of –anything, look no further than my sainted mother, she will tell it to you straight and won't spare your feelings or mince words. I appreciate it on some levels. But between my father who never lies and my mother, my pregnant sister keeps asking for trouble pestering everyone with the whole question of, "Do I look bigger?" A word to the wise,be careful what you ask.
So yes, in response to your unspoken question both my parents pointed out rather, umm, pointedly that I was not wearing any makeup and I didn't let it go any further than that. Most other, (I'll refrain from using the word normal here), people didn't pry to hard as to why I didn't have makeup on. Some people just looked at me for a while as if they couldn't quite figure out what was "wrong" and those were the ones I had the hardest time keeping my mouth shut around. It was harder with them because I couldn't even say I didn't have makeup on, I could say nothing; I couldn't address something they didn't bring up. I couldn't suddenly pipe up, "Stop looking at me that way, I don't have any makeup on okay, I am trying to work on my vanity and it is revealing to me, how I put way to much importance on my looks.
Thank you for making me all the more aware of the gigantic zit I nicknamed Vesuvius which is due to erupt in t-minus and counting. You might want to watch out and take a step back. Sorry I have had to make you so painfully aware of it due to my abstaining from all types of cover up. -- It's called cover up for a reason it's supposed to cover up all of our flaws. And in covering up your flaws it makes you feel more confident, just as the lack there of made me feel so self-conscious and insecure.
I became afraid to look people in the eye and felt somehow if I didn't look at them closely then they wouldn't look at me closely. Or at least that is what I hoped. I realized how ridiculous it was that I felt less of a person merely because I was lacking some bat guana (bat feces is the main ingredient in most mascaras) and mica (powder) on my face. The word mascara derives from the Italian maschera which means "mask." My makeup was a mask and I felt prettier hiding behind it.
While enjoying the lovely April evening driving home the other night, I noticed that someone still had up in their Christmas tree lights. The lights were not turned on but I saw them faintly sparkling in the moonlight wrapped all around the limbs and the trunk of an outdoor deciduous tree. I thought poor little tree, it needs to push out its buds and leaves and will be inhibited by the wires and lights constricting it's ability to properly grow in this, Oh, so essential time of spring! In the wintertime when the tree was barren and leafless the lights ornamented it nicely all lit up and lovely. But now that it is springtime it would be an embarrassment to announce that you haven't taken them down, so instead the lights are hampering and hurting the tree rather than highlighting it.
Why does this relate? I think I let my dependence, the importance I placed or even the sense of security I felt when wearing makeup inhibit my growth as a person. And it was only in taking it off for a week that I discovered what all I was really covering up, not just the skin, not just the flaws of flesh, but I revealed the weakness in the walls of my own sense of self. The Lord loves me in Covergirl makeup or none. I need to love my reflection with my mascara mask in place or running in rivulets down my tear stained cheeks. I laughed the Sunday after I started wearing it again that God wasn't ready for me to start shlacking it back on because He was chipping it right back off again by having me cry all my clown face off in church. (Have no fear, they were all tears of joy.)
1 Peter 1:3-5 “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful.”
As an advertising refrain for a brand of makeup poses, “maybe she's born with it, maybe it Maybelline”, or maybe, just maybe it is so much more than that. Maybe she is born with it, maybe it is Maybelline, and maybe the Lord has blessed her with a beauty that shines out of her because she finally knows that the Lord loves her no matter what, tear stained, volcanic zits, or Tammy Faye eyelashes.
~Psalm 139:13-18 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.”
Just like the Christmas tree lights I like my makeup to sparkle and highlight my attributes but I know that my real beauty only comes from the Lord from what He created in me, what He gave me in my DNA and from the transformation He is slowly but surely doing in me day by day.
Lord, help us to strip away whatever might be covering up and inhibiting our growth in You. Let us focus on the things of you and shed the vanities of this world and instead focus on sparkling for Your Glory Alone!
Heaven Helped Me 5/5/08
Love Always,
A*
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