"Happy is the soul that has something to look backward to with pride, and something to look forward to with hope." -Oliver G. Wilson
I love how God uses even the smallest interactions with people to speak huge volumes of His love. As I was walking out of one of my favorite downtown restaurants a few weeks ago the owner popped up and asked me how I was doing. I returned the question and he practically started jumping up and down with excitement. He exclaimed, “I am having a baby, I am having a son. Oh my goodness have I told you yet? Well, you know what I mean my wife is having the baby... I am going to be a Father.” He barely breathed as he went on and on. “I can't wait to teach him how to play baseball and to throw a football and to fly a kite and ride a bike.”
I interjected here and was like, “Wow you have a lot of big plans already.”
Still smiling he explained, “I didn't have a father so I want to be the best dad ever and do everything I wished my dad had done.” He didn't even give me time to respond and went back to sharing all his plans for what he wanted to do as a daddy as he ushered me out the front door.
I tossed a big “Congratulations”over my shoulder as I exited. The whole interchange was a few short minutes but his words touched me and meant so much. It was like he just popped out his heart and showed it to me and popped it back in, all with a wide smile on his face. There was no pain in his expression as he revealed his motivation (not having a Dad) for why he planned to be the best dad ever. And there must have been past pain concerning this loss yet because of this lack it inspired idyllic ideas of his bright future in fatherhood.
I love observing my own Dad enjoying being an incredible grandfather. The other day he and my mom dashed over to my pool to see their granddaughter's first fun filled pool experience. While we were all smiling away at my little water-baby niece's delight, my dad looked at me and said “It is so great getting to enjoy all these kinds of things, now, as a grandfather.” My father gets up early every Saturday to attend every single one of his ten year old granddaughter's soccer games. He painstakingly videos every one.
As an adult, do I still want my daddy to watch me when I try to do something...do I still want his approval and to make him proud? Yes, I do. And maybe that is something I will never grow out of. It reminds me that my Heavenly Father is always watching. He came to all my track meets. He was there the first time I became a little water baby. And I am still working to make Him proud too and I NEVER want to grow out of that.
I love my Dad.
I respect my Dad so much that I do care more than I would like to admit about his opinion and approval. I remember crying watching some TV show when the Dad told the son he was proud of him. It touched the desire in my heart to hear my own dad say the same thing. Two days later I went out to dinner with my parents and my dad very seriously said over dessert the exact words I had been crying about two days before. He told me he was proud of me.
I love my dad.
I love how smart he is and how when he reads this he will cringe and think “She should have said intelligent and her punctuation is all wrong.” I love how he has always loved my mom with unwavering devotion. I admire his honesty even when it hurts. I love that he goes through stages of passions over some particular health craze or exercise regime. I love how he is always learning and looking for new knowledge. I love: How he thinks Twitter is cool and mundane all at the same time. Thinks Kim Komando is the all knowing eye of Sauron. How he won't get that Lord of the Rings reference because the movie was made after 1980 and he wouldn't read that kind of book. How he only likes trends after they are totally out of style. For instance he would still be wearing the same stonewashed pair of jeans if my mother hadn't taken them away from him.
I especially love:
How he is the best grandfather I have ever laid eyes on. How he shares his knowledge and wisdom with everyone and has never dumbed it down for a child and as a result all his grandchildren are brilliant. How I think he is a great father and I know he is there for me.
The majority of the same can be said as to why I love my Heavenly Father so much. Obviously He probably isn't wearing stonewashed jeans and I am not sure what He might think of Twitter but I do know that He is always there for me. The Lord has always been dead center in the middle of my picture regardless of whether or not I choose to see Him there. He always has been, He is the great “I AM”. How can you not love someone who has always been with you loving every minute, always has your back, tried to teach you big concepts and never dumbed it down.
“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38
Nothing can stand in the way of our Heavenly Father loving us. Nothing. Nothing we have done, nothing anyone else has done to us, no distance, dark power or even death can keep us from His love.
Lord keep our hearts pure in seeing You as You truly are, let not any earthly ideas mare Your greatness or tarnish Your image as our True Father. Thank you for our lives, thank you for our parentage both earthly and spiritually. Thank you for being our Abba Father. Thank you for always loving us and always being there for us.
Heaven helped me 6/18/09-6/26/09. I have been sitting on this one for a while. Sorry. Late for Father's day.
God bless you,
Love always A*
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Anywhere Worship
“Enter the unquenchable worshipper. This world is full of fragile loves –Love that abandons, love that fades, love that divorces, love that is self-seeking. But the unquenchable worshipper is different. From a heart so amazed by God and His wonders burns a love that will not be extinguished. It survives any situation and lives through any circumstance. It will not allow itself to be quenched, for that would heap insult on the love it lives in response to.” (pg 18 The Unquenchable Worshipper)
I was invited to attend an outdoor concert downtown for a group called “Ben Folds”. I was a little nervous because I would be meeting some of my -very new at the time- boyfriend's friends. I chatted with everyone through the lame opening act and was completely comfortable with all of them right away. Of course his friends were great since he is so great and has great taste. (Hello, he is dating me obviously he has great taste.)
Since he and one of his friends operate the sound board at their church they were critical of the sound at the outdoor venue. And even to a laymen's ear it was really hard to hear and understand the vocals of the band. I was not very familiar with the group anyway so I wouldn't have been able to sing along even if I could catch the words.
What words I did catch were when they would throw out a “Jesus Christ or an Oh, my God”. When they would exclaim these, to be funny, my boyfriend would turn to me and smile and say, 'Oh this is a Christian song, awesome!”
The humorous thing to me is that I was already feeling like they were all Christian songs because I was standing there so happy in life and in love, that I couldn't help singing a song of worship in my own mental melody. I couldn't restrain myself from inwardly worshipping my Heavenly Father for all the joy, beauty and happiness I was experiencing just standing there in the balmy breeze. The band might have been using the Lord's name in vain, but not me, I was singing songs of adoration to His name. They were breaking commandments but I was keeping them.
I don't even need music to accompany the worship in my heart that overtakes me some time when I am just so, so, ecstatic. Little things can jump start my joyful trilling like thinking about one of my nieces or laughing at my funny coworkers. Sometimes merely because the sun is shinning I can't stop profusely thanking God for His creation.
“We can always find a reason to praise. Situations change for better and for worse, but God's worth never changes.” -Matt Redman
I like they way the author Dr. David Stoop wrote about worship:
“Our word worship comes out of the Old English word weorthscipe.This word meant that someone ascribed “worth” to the object of their “weorthscipe,” or worship. In our context as Christians, worship is the act, or actions, whereby we ascribe great worth to God. This is especially clear in the passage in Revelation where the twenty-four elders say,
“O Lord, you are worthy....” It is seen again in Revelation 5, where John hears “the singing of millions of angels surrounding the throne and the Living Beings and the Elders: “The Lamb is worthy” (loudly they sang it!)--the Lamb who was slain. He is worthy to receive the power, and the riches, and the wisdom, and the strength, and the honor, and the glory, and the blessing”” (verses 11-12)
In both of these examples, “worth” is being rendered, or offered, to God.
Our writer defined worship by saying that “in worship we engage ourselves with, dwell upon, and express greatness, beauty, and goodness of God through thought and the use of words, rituals, and symbols.” In worship we meet with God and God meets with us.” (pg 87 Experiencing God Together)
I don't see worship described as something we do on Sundays in church by singing, because that is not what it is really all about, even though I dearly love doing that. It is about acknowledging in your spirit the greatness of God and I think in return we feel His Spirit responding intimately back to us. It is as if we get a glimpse of His supreme glory in the little things in life and we can't help but compliment Him with everything that is in us ...and this is also worship.
I have a friend who majored in musical theater in college and I remember her dramatically saying that a good musical is when a character 's feelings are so strong that they can only be expressed adequately by bursting into song. A few days after hearing this I took my niece to see the musical movie “Enchanted” and it so aptly portrayed her definition. (If you have seen it, you would know what I mean.)
When I play with all my nieces I constantly find myself making up songs and singing to them. One was “Hadley-who is a dancing girl she likes to dance and she likes to twirl”, I have songs about changing diapers and brushing your teeth. You name it, I probably sang it. I think I sing because when I am with all my babies they make me so happy. And this is the same about my love for the Lord, He makes me so happy I can't help but sing and worship Him outwardly as well as inwardly.
“The heart of God loves a persevering worshipper who, though overwhelmed by many troubles, is overwhelmed even more by the beauty of God.” --Matt Redman
“Though the fig-tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior” (Habakkuk 3:17,18)
Paul and Silas caused their prison to crumble due to their praise. I want to praise and worship no matter what my situation, happy or sad, despondent or deliriously happy. I want to sing a song in my heart to glorify God's name all day long. Lord lead me to love you with the wholeness of my character so that I might know and experience the wholeness of Your character. Please help me to praise you no matter what my mood. Call me to attention, tell me to seek you when I need you most. Remind me You are near and always listening to my worship or lament. Let my lament turn into whole hearted worship and praise. Thank you Lord for all that You are, “Holy, Holy is the Lord God almighty who was and is and is to be.”
Heaven helped me 6/11/09
Love Always,
A*
I was invited to attend an outdoor concert downtown for a group called “Ben Folds”. I was a little nervous because I would be meeting some of my -very new at the time- boyfriend's friends. I chatted with everyone through the lame opening act and was completely comfortable with all of them right away. Of course his friends were great since he is so great and has great taste. (Hello, he is dating me obviously he has great taste.)
Since he and one of his friends operate the sound board at their church they were critical of the sound at the outdoor venue. And even to a laymen's ear it was really hard to hear and understand the vocals of the band. I was not very familiar with the group anyway so I wouldn't have been able to sing along even if I could catch the words.
What words I did catch were when they would throw out a “Jesus Christ or an Oh, my God”. When they would exclaim these, to be funny, my boyfriend would turn to me and smile and say, 'Oh this is a Christian song, awesome!”
The humorous thing to me is that I was already feeling like they were all Christian songs because I was standing there so happy in life and in love, that I couldn't help singing a song of worship in my own mental melody. I couldn't restrain myself from inwardly worshipping my Heavenly Father for all the joy, beauty and happiness I was experiencing just standing there in the balmy breeze. The band might have been using the Lord's name in vain, but not me, I was singing songs of adoration to His name. They were breaking commandments but I was keeping them.
I don't even need music to accompany the worship in my heart that overtakes me some time when I am just so, so, ecstatic. Little things can jump start my joyful trilling like thinking about one of my nieces or laughing at my funny coworkers. Sometimes merely because the sun is shinning I can't stop profusely thanking God for His creation.
“We can always find a reason to praise. Situations change for better and for worse, but God's worth never changes.” -Matt Redman
I like they way the author Dr. David Stoop wrote about worship:
“Our word worship comes out of the Old English word weorthscipe.This word meant that someone ascribed “worth” to the object of their “weorthscipe,” or worship. In our context as Christians, worship is the act, or actions, whereby we ascribe great worth to God. This is especially clear in the passage in Revelation where the twenty-four elders say,
“O Lord, you are worthy....” It is seen again in Revelation 5, where John hears “the singing of millions of angels surrounding the throne and the Living Beings and the Elders: “The Lamb is worthy” (loudly they sang it!)--the Lamb who was slain. He is worthy to receive the power, and the riches, and the wisdom, and the strength, and the honor, and the glory, and the blessing”” (verses 11-12)
In both of these examples, “worth” is being rendered, or offered, to God.
Our writer defined worship by saying that “in worship we engage ourselves with, dwell upon, and express greatness, beauty, and goodness of God through thought and the use of words, rituals, and symbols.” In worship we meet with God and God meets with us.” (pg 87 Experiencing God Together)
I don't see worship described as something we do on Sundays in church by singing, because that is not what it is really all about, even though I dearly love doing that. It is about acknowledging in your spirit the greatness of God and I think in return we feel His Spirit responding intimately back to us. It is as if we get a glimpse of His supreme glory in the little things in life and we can't help but compliment Him with everything that is in us ...and this is also worship.
I have a friend who majored in musical theater in college and I remember her dramatically saying that a good musical is when a character 's feelings are so strong that they can only be expressed adequately by bursting into song. A few days after hearing this I took my niece to see the musical movie “Enchanted” and it so aptly portrayed her definition. (If you have seen it, you would know what I mean.)
When I play with all my nieces I constantly find myself making up songs and singing to them. One was “Hadley-who is a dancing girl she likes to dance and she likes to twirl”, I have songs about changing diapers and brushing your teeth. You name it, I probably sang it. I think I sing because when I am with all my babies they make me so happy. And this is the same about my love for the Lord, He makes me so happy I can't help but sing and worship Him outwardly as well as inwardly.
“The heart of God loves a persevering worshipper who, though overwhelmed by many troubles, is overwhelmed even more by the beauty of God.” --Matt Redman
“Though the fig-tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior” (Habakkuk 3:17,18)
Paul and Silas caused their prison to crumble due to their praise. I want to praise and worship no matter what my situation, happy or sad, despondent or deliriously happy. I want to sing a song in my heart to glorify God's name all day long. Lord lead me to love you with the wholeness of my character so that I might know and experience the wholeness of Your character. Please help me to praise you no matter what my mood. Call me to attention, tell me to seek you when I need you most. Remind me You are near and always listening to my worship or lament. Let my lament turn into whole hearted worship and praise. Thank you Lord for all that You are, “Holy, Holy is the Lord God almighty who was and is and is to be.”
Heaven helped me 6/11/09
Love Always,
A*
Limited Vision
“To have faith where you cannot see; to be willing to work on in the dark; to be conscious of the fact that, so long as you strive for the best, there are better things on the way, this in itself is success.” --Katherine Logan
Saturday I had one of the best runs I have had in a long time. The simple thing I can attribute it to is not the pleasant weather, my better cardio condition or the time of day, the simple reason is that my sun-visor was on to low. I found the fact that it was so low over my eyes annoying and early on in the run I tried to adjust it a couple times but then gave up.
I am just getting back into regularly working out and instead of my usual hit- it-crazy- hard, right away , I have decided to take the smarter course of action and slowly ease back into getting in shape. I try and do a distance of 5-8 miles every time but walk and run intermittently. I have heard repeatedly that this is best for your aging body, plus I can tell it works different muscles. I do a hill route near my house that has a super steep hill that has the most extreme degree of slope I have ever experienced while not scaling cliff faces. You have to lean your body far forward while running up it and it is almost like having to “toe” up it as in rock climbing.
I have been telling myself that I need to run all the way down the hill and all the way up without walking at any point and then I will know I am making progress. It hadn't happened until yesterday. I was chugging away up the hill and lifted my head to see how much farther I had to go and I was almost at the top. I couldn't believe it. I had passed all the various mailboxes which are typically my visual goals that I bribe myself to go further by saying at least get to the blue mailbox and then you can walk. This time no bribes or visual goals were necessary I was already there.
I was so surprised and instantly started trying to mentally break down why and how this happened so effortlessly today. Yes, I do think that coolness of the day and the fact that I am getting in better condition played roles in why it was so much easier to reach the summit. But I think the big reason was actually due to the fact that my sun visor, down low, limited my range of vision.
I couldn't stare in the distance and worry about what was ahead. I couldn't focus on the bigness of the hill and how small it made me feel. I couldn't inwardly whine how I couldn't do it, because I couldn't even see what I would normally whine about. Instead all I could see was a few feet in front of me, the ground right before my feet and because that was all I could see that was all I had to worry about. I knew I could conquer those few feet so why stress about the other .33 miles of hilly journey up ahead. (I think the total distance of the hill is .69)
For me this is how I need to view my life. I need to focus and zero in on the few feet in front of me and not get bogged down with worry about the big hill ahead.
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Mathew 6:34
I need to limit my own range of vision since so often the reason I get depressed is because I want God to shout down from heaven what I am supposed to be doing with my life. When I think about the big picture I feel like I am wasting minutes, hours, days and years not doing what God really desires for me to be doing with the gifts he has given me. If I instead focus on the here and now, and the day to day way to life my live for His glory, it is a lot easier to comprehend and apply.
Sometimes the grand scope of things is just to GRAND and instead a little Carpe Diem, live for the now is necessary to keep my sanity. So what can I do now, keep praying, keep trying to change my broken ways and live more like Jesus.
Lord please help us to see the big and the small picture. Focus our vision so that we are able to run after the things you want us to commit our lives to. Give us a heart and drive for the things you want us to pursue in our everyday lives and show us Your path before every step we take. Narrow our eye line so that We see you in all things. Thank You for your God given gifts and abilities and please help us to use them more for Your glory.
Heaven helped me 6/9/09
Love Always,
A*
Saturday I had one of the best runs I have had in a long time. The simple thing I can attribute it to is not the pleasant weather, my better cardio condition or the time of day, the simple reason is that my sun-visor was on to low. I found the fact that it was so low over my eyes annoying and early on in the run I tried to adjust it a couple times but then gave up.
I am just getting back into regularly working out and instead of my usual hit- it-crazy- hard, right away , I have decided to take the smarter course of action and slowly ease back into getting in shape. I try and do a distance of 5-8 miles every time but walk and run intermittently. I have heard repeatedly that this is best for your aging body, plus I can tell it works different muscles. I do a hill route near my house that has a super steep hill that has the most extreme degree of slope I have ever experienced while not scaling cliff faces. You have to lean your body far forward while running up it and it is almost like having to “toe” up it as in rock climbing.
I have been telling myself that I need to run all the way down the hill and all the way up without walking at any point and then I will know I am making progress. It hadn't happened until yesterday. I was chugging away up the hill and lifted my head to see how much farther I had to go and I was almost at the top. I couldn't believe it. I had passed all the various mailboxes which are typically my visual goals that I bribe myself to go further by saying at least get to the blue mailbox and then you can walk. This time no bribes or visual goals were necessary I was already there.
I was so surprised and instantly started trying to mentally break down why and how this happened so effortlessly today. Yes, I do think that coolness of the day and the fact that I am getting in better condition played roles in why it was so much easier to reach the summit. But I think the big reason was actually due to the fact that my sun visor, down low, limited my range of vision.
I couldn't stare in the distance and worry about what was ahead. I couldn't focus on the bigness of the hill and how small it made me feel. I couldn't inwardly whine how I couldn't do it, because I couldn't even see what I would normally whine about. Instead all I could see was a few feet in front of me, the ground right before my feet and because that was all I could see that was all I had to worry about. I knew I could conquer those few feet so why stress about the other .33 miles of hilly journey up ahead. (I think the total distance of the hill is .69)
For me this is how I need to view my life. I need to focus and zero in on the few feet in front of me and not get bogged down with worry about the big hill ahead.
“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Mathew 6:34
I need to limit my own range of vision since so often the reason I get depressed is because I want God to shout down from heaven what I am supposed to be doing with my life. When I think about the big picture I feel like I am wasting minutes, hours, days and years not doing what God really desires for me to be doing with the gifts he has given me. If I instead focus on the here and now, and the day to day way to life my live for His glory, it is a lot easier to comprehend and apply.
Sometimes the grand scope of things is just to GRAND and instead a little Carpe Diem, live for the now is necessary to keep my sanity. So what can I do now, keep praying, keep trying to change my broken ways and live more like Jesus.
Lord please help us to see the big and the small picture. Focus our vision so that we are able to run after the things you want us to commit our lives to. Give us a heart and drive for the things you want us to pursue in our everyday lives and show us Your path before every step we take. Narrow our eye line so that We see you in all things. Thank You for your God given gifts and abilities and please help us to use them more for Your glory.
Heaven helped me 6/9/09
Love Always,
A*
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